Her Secret Words Chapter Twenty One-Twenty Four

“Your not questioning whether or not you should Mary Bert are you?”

“No Mom, that’s one of the few things I am not questioning. I am questioning why a killer is still walking free.”

“Justine I have that very same question.”

“I know Mom. I am sorry for being selfish. I know I wasn’t the only one affected by what happened.”

“It’s okay sweetie, but I think this is God’s way of showing you, we must move on.”

 

Chapter Twenty One:
Justine contacted the police about the threatening calls, wondering if they were on the phone long enough for the tap to go through.
She hated being surrounded by Police officers all the time, but it was better than the alternative.
Truth was she was grateful for everything they were doing, but Justine would feel much better once they rescued Bert.
She prayed he was still alive, and not thrown away like some piece of trash.
She loved him, more than words could say she loved him.
All she could do was pray the feeling was mutual.
Lord I don’t know what’s happening with Bert but I know you do, so I am asking that you keep him safe. And let him know that I forgive him for the way he lied to me. I am sure he was trying to protect me, and I forgive him. I want him to know that Lord, and if I don’t get a chance to tell him, please let him not die thinking I am angry with him. Because right now that is far from the truth.
Mom I wish I would hear something about Bert. I am getting more and more worried.”
I know you are sweetie, we all are. But let’s believe it is in God’s hands.”
I know it is Mom, but I am scared.”
It’s okay to be scared sweetie, but just remember your Dad and I are here for you, and that no matter what God is with you.”
I know Mom, that is really the only thing that keeps me going.”
Don’t give up the faith Justine.”
I’m not Mom. I have no choice but to keep the faith.”
I know sweetie, and I am proud of you. I am going to believe that Bert is going to get through this okay, that we all are.”
I want to believe that too Mom, but I really am afraid. I do not want to keep living in fear like this.”
Justine I understand completely anyone would.”
I love you Mom.”
I love you too.”
Justine was thankful she had a close relationship with her Mother and Father. She was closer to her Mother than her Father, but she loved them both, and she knew they loved her too. They had been with her through the most difficult times, they had let her cry on their shoulders when she had been the one to find Brandi murdered. It had affected them all of course, but Justine was the one that had come home to that gruesome sight. The sight of her sister so brutally murdered, for secrets, she had accidentally uncovered. Secrets that someone did not want her to tell anyone about, so they silenced her for good.
Jan.2003
I wish I could say the New Year has taken away the old fears, but I am still terrified. I am still being followed. I still can’t feel like a normal Sophomore high school student. I am not sure I will ever feel normal again. How can I when I have seen what I saw?
I know they have killed again, that girls body they dumped was not the only one. I did not see the other body dumps, because I did not see them, but I know that I happen. More families left to wonder what happened to their children. I can not even begin to imagine.
I worry for my safety, and the safety of my family. I know they have seen me with my family so they know who they are, and I think I have been followed so they know where I live. I feel like I am living the plot to a bad movie, only this is real, all to real. I want to get back to the way things were before I saw all of this, but even if I am not hurt physically the images will forever be in my head. I ask that the good Lord simply give me the strength to endure all of this.
Justine doesn’t like the way I hold things back from her. She is my big sister, and I used to tell her anything, but telling her this could be dangerous for her. I do not want to be responsible for my sisters blood, if something bad happened. I don’t even want to think like that, but I can not help it. I feel exactly like that. I wish I could tell Justine everything and somehow my big sister could make things better, but I can’t. I can’t tell anyone what I saw. I have to hide this disk so no one reads what’s on it, and what I have written in my journal. I probably shouldn’t have written this stuff down, but if I hadn’t I would explode.
I wish you had told me what you were going through Brandi. I wish you hadn’t felt the need to keep this all to yourself, but I am not mad at you for what you did. You were a strong young woman Brandi and I miss you.”
Justine was never going to stop talking to her sister, although she was long God, she still felt very connected with Brandi. And someday she would find Justine for Brandi, someday very soon. She would celebrate when that day came.
In a very real way Bert was helping to bring Justine’s killer to Justice to, she could only pray that it did not cost Bert his life. She did not want to lose the man she loved, that someday she prayed she would get to marry.
Lord I am thankful that Brandi is safe with you now, she does not have to endure the fear she felt the lass year of her life. I am glad she has the comfort of your presence and love Lord. In a way we cannot know until we get to Heaven. I am thankful she was a believer and is spending an eternity with you, and that one day we will reunite. I love you Lord, and I thank you for your many blessings. You are so good to us Lord, despite everything we have been through, or maybe because of it we are able to see that.
Justine was thankful for her ability to pray. Her relationship with the Lord. Even with the closeness of her parents, she needed that. Without the Lord she certainly wouldn’t have made it through her sisters death, she knew that, and her parents knew that. They all needed the Lord, and were blessed by the Lord. Even with not knowing what was going on with Bert, Justine was able to count her blessings. And she was trying very hard to keep the faith, that was a little difficult under the circumstances. She really had to believe Bert was going to be okay, that they were all going to be okay.
Justine I am going to help you anyway I can, and I know the police are doing everything in their power.”
I know Mom, and I am thankful for that, but I feel so helpless.”
As long as we can pray Justine, we are not helpless.”
Her Mother had said it well, but it was still hard to comprehend everything that was happening. How could the monster that had killed her sister, now have the man she loved? It really made no sense to her, but then again none of this made any sense. You can’t really make sense out of a mad man.
I know Mom, and I know that without faith I would have completely lost it long ago.”
We all would have sweetie.”
I know, and I think that’s what this monster wants us to see, he wants to see us break.”
Justine we can’t give him that kind of control.”
I am trying not to Mom, but honestly I don’t know how much more I can take.”
Give it to God Justine.”
Believe me Mom I have, a hundred times over.”
Then keep giving it to him.”

I am Mom.”
I know sweetie, and you are going to be okay.”
I wish I were as sure of that as you are.”
I am trying to be strong Lord, I really am. But sometimes I feel weak, very weak, and I am worried about Bert. What am I going to do if God forbid, they have already hurt him or worse. I know what these monsters are capable of now, I know what they have done. They killed my sister and dozes of other girls, what would one more body be to them? Bert is going to need your strength Lord I know he can’t do this on his own. No one can. I love you Lord, and I am begging you for your help.
Justine couldn’t believe the way her emotions were flip flopping the way they were. She could not understand how one minute she felt as strong as a rock and the next moment she had a million questions. She was trying to make sense of a lot of things, and the truth was many of them did not make much sense.
Once again Justine found hope in the word of the Lord. This time it was John 3, and the talk about being Born Again, she was thankful she had been just that Born Again, as had Brandi, before she had so brutally been taken from them. She prayed in this mess, that the same thing could be said for Bert.
Jesus Teaches Nicodemus
3 Now there was a Pharisee, a man named Nicodemus who was a member of the Jewish ruling council. 2 He came to Jesus at night and said, “Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher who has come from God. For no one could perform the signs you are doing if God were not with him.”
3 Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.[a]”
4 “How can someone be born when they are old?” Nicodemus asked. “Surely they cannot enter a second time into their mother’s womb to be born!”
5 Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit. 6 Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit[b] gives birth to spirit. 7 You should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You[c] must be born again.’ 8 The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.”[d]
9 “How can this be?” Nicodemus asked.
10 “You are Israel’s teacher,” said Jesus, “and do you not understand these things? 11 Very truly I tell you, we speak of what we know, and we testify to what we have seen, but still you people do not accept our testimony. 12 I have spoken to you of earthly things and you do not believe; how then will you believe if I speak of heavenly things? 13 No one has ever gone into heaven except the one who came from heaven—the Son of Man.[e] 14 Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the wilderness, so the Son of Man must be lifted up,[f] 15 that everyone who believes may have eternal life in him.”[g]
16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. 18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son. 19 This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. 20 Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. 21 But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.

John Testifies Again About Jesus
22 After this, Jesus and his disciples went out into the Judean countryside, where he spent some time with them, and baptized. 23 Now John also was baptizing at Aenon near Salim, because there was plenty of water, and people were coming and being baptized. 24 (This was before John was put in prison.) 25 An argument developed between some of John’s disciples and a certain Jew over the matter of ceremonial washing. 26 They came to John and said to him, “Rabbi, that man who was with you on the other side of the Jordan—the one you testified about—look, he is baptizing, and everyone is going to him.”
27 To this John replied, “A person can receive only what is given them from heaven. 28 You yourselves can testify that I said, ‘I am not the Messiah but am sent ahead of him.’ 29 The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom’s voice. That joy is mine, and it is now complete. 30 He must become greater; I must become less.”[h]
31 The one who comes from above is above all; the one who is from the earth belongs to the earth, and speaks as one from the earth. The one who comes from heaven is above all. 32 He testifies to what he has seen and heard, but no one accepts his testimony. 33 Whoever has accepted it has certified that God is truthful. 34 For the one whom God has sent speaks the words of God, for God[i] gives the Spirit without limit. 35 The Father loves the Son and has placed everything in his hands. 36 Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God’s wrath remains on them.
Justine closed her Bible, thanking the Lord for his word Thanking the Lord in the midst of this madness she could find comfort in his word. She truly did have a lot to be thankful for, although lately it seemed with Bert being in danger, very real danger her vision had been clouded. She was sure the good Lord would understand, he knew her heart.
I can’t begin to imagine, the peace and love you are experiencing in Heaven Brandi. I am sure I will know it someday, but I know the good Lord has plans for me on this earth, and I want to live to fulfill those plans. I miss you though Brandi, but it would be selfish for me to wish you back to a world gone crazy.”

Chapter Twenty Two:
He couldn’t believe it, he had got out. He had no idea where to go, so he ran to the nearest home he saw. Half ran, and half crawled.
Eventually they would wake up, he was not sure if he had killed them or not, but Bert had to get help.
He needed to get to the hospital, but ne needed to get out of danger first.
If he didn’t leave the house, he would surely die.
The monsters who had killed his girlfriends sister would make sure of that.
He liked the sound of that, his girlfriend.
He wondered if it would still be true .
He prayed before he weakly knocked on the nearest door, an older couple ushered him in, calling the Paramedics right away, after he tried to explain what happened.
Right now he looked at the older couple as his guardian angels. They were literally saving his life.
Somehow he knew he was going to make it. He was going to get to tell Justine everything he wanted to tell her.
Bert was literally going to owe his life to this older couple, he had never met in his life, but somehow took him in, and got him the help he needed.
This must be what Justine must have meant when she told him, “we often entertain angels.”
It was amazing how God could use ordinary people, unsuspecting people to help work his miracles.
I can’t believe you have got me this far Lord. I am sorry I ever doubted you. I am sorry I ever questioned your existence. Once I get out of this, I want to live my life for you, and I want to Mary Justine if she will have me. I pray she will, but if she does not I will know that you are doing what is best for me. I love her though Lord, I really love her.
Bert heard the sirens pulling up, praying he would be safe. He could still see the house, the house where he had spent the past few days, tied up like an animal, tortured, beaten, shot, but by the Grace of God he had survived. It was only God who could allow that.
A few seconds before he heard the sirens pull up, he heard a car pull away, and somehow he knew someone from that house escaped. He prayed they would be caught, before anyone else was hurt. These mad men had spilled enough blood, and Bert was tired of seeing blood spilled, tired of seeing innocent people hurt.
Before the paramedics came, he had been able to leave a quick message on Justine’s machine. She was not home at the moment, and he wondered where she could be. He prayed that she had not been hurt, but he did not want to take his mind there. He wanted to believe she was going to be okay, that he was going to be okay. He had so much to tell her.
The first thing he would do was ask for her forgiveness, and tell her the way he had given his heart to Jesus. Nothing like a brush with death, to make you realize you really did need something more than yourself in this life.
Thank you Lord for letting me realize how stupid I was being, trying to go through everything alone. I know that is not what you wanted for me, and that is not what I want for myself either. I want to live my life for you Lord, whatever that means. I am new to this walk, but I am sure you will help me find my way.
A few seconds after his silent prayer, he was carted away by the paramedics, which he was grateful for, because the pain was just now really starting to hit him, and he was starting to black out. The older couple, later, he learned their names were Beth and Joseph Jones, decided to follow him to the hospital, because they couldn’t stand the thought of no one being there for him.
I am grateful that you sent me to these people Lord, these people have literally saved my life, and I ask that you keep them safe. I do not want to think that I have put them into some kind of danger, but I needed help Lord. And I felt there house was where I should go. I think you led me there Lord, in fact I am almost sure you led me there. I would not be alive if it were not for them. I am certain of them.
You were lucky, you were shot four times, but nothing hit anything vital. You will be sore for awhile, especially your shoulder, but you are going to be okay.” The doctor assured Bert.
I would say that was more than luck Doc.”
I suppose your right, it was more like a miracle. By all accounts you should be dead.”
I guess God had other plans for me.” Bert said, finding the strength to smile through the pain. It was a God thing, it had to be a God thing.
The doctor told him, they wanted him to stay in the hospital for a few days for observation, and he did not argue. The fact was right now he was probably safer in the hospital, and he was relieved because he had finally gotten in touch with Justine. She was going to come to the hospital with her Mother, her Father was on a business trip or something, but he was grateful they were coming. He had so much he needed to tell Justine, and none of it could be said over the phone.
Bert worried about Justine’s safety and that of her Mother of course, but they assured her they were going to be fine. The house where he had been held captive was empty now, one person escaped, three more severely injured, did not get out in time, and eventually died in that place. It was rather disheartening to think he had caused three deaths, but his very life had been in danger and the world was probably safer now because of it.
To these monsters though, lives were expendable, and they would just get someone else to do their dirty work. He knew this was by no means over, but one way or another they were going to win this war, and the mastermind, behind all these murders was going to go away for life, if he wasn’t killed first, but death would be to good for this monster. He needed to spend his life in solitary confinement. Forced to deal with the demons he created for himself. Forced to think of the things he had done to those girls.
What kind of monster does these things Lord?
What kind of person kills fifteen year old girls?
There were a lot of things that did not make sense at the moment.
Bert picked up the Bible he found on the hospital night stand and began to read.
He flipped to Isaiah 51, where someone had bookmark and began reading. He had never really read the Bible before, so felt this was as good of a place to start as any…
Everlasting Salvation for Zion
51 “Listen to me, you who pursue righteousness

and who seek the Lord:

Look to the rock from which you were cut

and to the quarry from which you were hewn;

2 look to Abraham, your father,

and to Sarah, who gave you birth.

When I called him he was only one man,

and I blessed him and made him many.

3 The Lord will surely comfort Zion

and will look with compassion on all her ruins;

he will make her deserts like Eden,

her wastelands like the garden of the Lord.

Joy and gladness will be found in her,

thanksgiving and the sound of singing.
4 “Listen to me, my people;

hear me, my nation:

Instruction will go out from me;

my justice will become a light to the nations.

5 My righteousness draws near speedily,

my salvation is on the way,

and my arm will bring justice to the nations.

The islands will look to me

and wait in hope for my arm.

6 Lift up your eyes to the heavens,

look at the earth beneath;

the heavens will vanish like smoke,

the earth will wear out like a garment

and its inhabitants die like flies.

But my salvation will last forever,

my righteousness will never fail.
7 “Hear me, you who know what is right,

you people who have taken my instruction to heart:

Do not fear the reproach of mere mortals

or be terrified by their insults.

8 For the moth will eat them up like a garment;

the worm will devour them like wool.

But my righteousness will last forever,

my salvation through all generations.”
9 Awake, awake, arm of the Lord,

clothe yourself with strength!

Awake, as in days gone by,

as in generations of old.

Was it not you who cut Rahab to pieces,

who pierced that monster through?

10 Was it not you who dried up the sea,

the waters of the great deep,

who made a road in the depths of the sea

so that the redeemed might cross over?

11 Those the Lord has rescued will return.

They will enter Zion with singing;

everlasting joy will crown their heads.

Gladness and joy will overtake them,

and sorrow and sighing will flee away.
12 “I, even I, am he who comforts you.

Who are you that you fear mere mortals,

human beings who are but grass,

13 that you forget the Lord your Maker,

who stretches out the heavens

and who lays the foundations of the earth,

that you live in constant terror every day

because of the wrath of the oppressor,

who is bent on destruction?

For where is the wrath of the oppressor?

14 The cowering prisoners will soon be set free;

they will not die in their dungeon,

nor will they lack bread.

15 For I am the Lord your God,

who stirs up the sea so that its waves roar—

the Lord Almighty is his name.

16 I have put my words in your mouth

and covered you with the shadow of my hand—

I who set the heavens in place,

who laid the foundations of the earth,

and who say to Zion, ‘You are my people.’”

The Cup of the Lord’s Wrath
17 Awake, awake!

Rise up, Jerusalem,

you who have drunk from the hand of the Lord

the cup of his wrath,

you who have drained to its dregs

the goblet that makes people stagger.

18 Among all the children she bore

there was none to guide her;

among all the children she reared

there was none to take her by the hand.

19 These double calamities have come upon you—

who can comfort you?—

ruin and destruction, famine and sword—

who can[a] console you?

20 Your children have fainted;

they lie at every street corner,

like antelope caught in a net.

They are filled with the wrath of the Lord,

with the rebuke of your God.
21 Therefore hear this, you afflicted one,

made drunk, but not with wine.

22 This is what your Sovereign Lord says,

your God, who defends his people:

See, I have taken out of your hand

the cup that made you stagger;

from that cup, the goblet of my wrath,

you will never drink again.

23 I will put it into the hands of your tormentors,

who said to you,

Fall prostrate that we may walk on you.’

And you made your back like the ground,

like a street to be walked on.”
Now Bert understand what Justine had meant when she said the Lord’s word had a way of touching you, making you feel better in the toughest of circumstances. It was talking to the Lord that had allowed him to make it away from his captors alive.
He was still worried about Justine and her Mother making it safely, but he had to give that to the Lord. He had to believe that the horror was over, that the Lord had got them this far, and would not make them suffer more now. He had to believe Justine was going to be safe, because if something happened to Justine he would never be able to forgive himself.
I know you hear my prayers Lord, you have showed me that much in the past few days, so I am asking that you keep Justine and her Mother safe. I do not want to imagine what my life would be without them. I want a chance to tell Justine how much I love her, and ask her if she will Marry me. If she doesn’t I will understand, I know I deceived her, but I have to ask.

Chapter Twenty Three:
I didn’t know if I would ever see you again.” Justine said. Not taking a moment to catch her breath.
I am still here, thanks to God.” Bert said. “I wondered myself if I would make it out of their.”
What happened?” Justine asked.
I would rather not talk about it, right now. But I am going to be okay. The doctor said the wounds were all superficial. Nothing hit any major arteries, or organs. I do have some damage to my shoulder, but that will heal.”
I am so glad you are okay.”
Me too. I have so much to tell you. Starting with I am sorry.”
Bert we don’t have to get into that right now.”
I need to apologize to you for deceiving you.”
I forgive you Bert. I want to put that behind us. I struggled with it for awhile, but the Lord gave me peace. Showed me you weren’t trying to hurt me.”
I am thankful for that, but there are a lot of things I need to tell you. I love you Justine.”
I love you too Bert.”
I mean love as in I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to Mary you.”
We talked about this before Bert, I cannot Mary someone who isn’t a question.”
That’s the other thing I want to tell you. I found the Lord, when I was being held. I would not have made it out of there if it were not for him. And a sweet older couple, but I know they were instruments of the Lord.”
I am so glad to hear you gave your heart to Jesus. I have been praying for this day for a long time.”
I know you have, and now the good Lord has answered your prayers. Now I wonder if he is going to answer mine.” Bert said grinning.
The answer is yes Bert. I will Mary you. But let’s get you out of the hospital and better first.”
Sounds good to me.”

Justine was so thankful that Bert was alive. She and her Mother found a hotel and checked in praying for their safety all the while. And Bert’s. Two of the men who had held Bert captive, and who had killed Brandi were now dead, but one was still alive, and there were more besides that. They had to have faith in the Lord, he had gotten them this far, he would get them farther.
Lord thank you for getting us this far. Thank you for letting Bert survive that horrible ordeal. I ask that you help us continue to make it, and please Lord help the monster who put all of this into action get caught. I love you Lord, and I thank you for all you have given. I know I keep asking for more, and you keep blessing me, but you know I could not deal with another loss.
Justine I think everything is going to be okay now.” Her Mom said, as they settled into their room.
I hope so Mom. I just don’t know if I will relax until that monster who did this is caught.”
It seems like none of us have been relaxing since Brandi was killed.”
I know Mom. I wish that weren’t the case. I wish Brandi had never been murdered.”
I wish the same thing Justine, but wishing isn’t going to change the facts.”
I know Mom I am sorry. I really am grateful we have gotten this far.”
So am I sweetie, and I am thankful your Bert is going to be okay.”
I am too Mom.”
You don’t act like you are celebrating to much, you were just proposed too. I am sure it was not the most romantic of proposals, but I would think you would be happier than you are right now.”
I am happy Mom, but so much has happened in the past few days. I feel like I am just now stopping to catch my breath.”
I understand sweetie.”
Thank you Mom.”
Your welcome sweetie, and I am praying that this monster is caught.”
I know you are Mom, and I appreciate that.”
I know you do sweetie.”
Justine was thankful for her Mother, and all her support. She knew her Mom was right, she really did need to take the time to thank the good Lord that they had made it this far. The Lord had seen them through a lot and she knew that, but sometimes she got to thinking about Brandi and just couldn’t make sense of that. She knew she needed to let some of her emotions go, but her sisters death, and now what had happened with Bert was hard to deal with.
At least Bert is alive, at least he made it.
I know I need to be more thankful Lord, thank you for letting me get this far, and please forgive me for being out of sorts. The past few days have been very difficult beyond difficult. I have felt like I have been living a ten day nightmare. Actually a ten year nightmare. I have felt like I have been living a nightmare since I found Brandi killed. I know it’s been ten years Lord, but that still affects me.
Justine decided instead of sulking any longer, she was going to take the time to read the word. She was going to try and spend some time in the Word.
Justine opened her Bible to Romans 12:
A Living Sacrifice
12 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Humble Service in the Body of Christ
3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. 4 For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5 so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6 We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your[a] faith; 7 if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; 8 if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead,[b] do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.

Love in Action
9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13 Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.[c] Do not be conceited.
17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”[d] says the Lord. 20 On the contrary:
If your enemy is hungry, feed him;

if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.

In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”[e]
21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Justine felt better after time in the word, and was soon able to get some rest. She needed rest, she felt like she had been running on adrenaline for the past ten days, now that Bert was safe in the hospital, now that she knew he was going to be okay. She could rest. She fell asleep, feeling a small measure of joy in the fact that Bert had asked her to Mary him. She could not wait until they were married, but she wanted to give Bert a chance to get out of the hospital, and get back home first.
Chapter Twenty Four:
Justine could not help but think about how her sister may have been the one getting married by now, may have survived. She wished things would have been different for Brandi, that she would not have been murdered, but she realized it was time to move on with her life. Bert had asked for her hand in marriage and she had accepted. She was in love, and the truth was it felt good. It was better than the way she had felt before Bert had come into her life. In a very real well the Lord had used Bert to save her. She was thankful that the Lord had sent Bert into her life, despite the circumstances. She had not believed that this friendship would turn into a love and eventually a marriage, but that is what had happened. God had a way of working in people’s lives unexpectedly.
Lord I really am blessed. I see that, but I still struggle with the feelings of grief for what happened to Brandi, but I guess you know that. You are helping me overcome though, and I know she would not want me to wallow in misery. Before all of this happened, she had been so happy and bubbly.
Justine I am happy for you. I have wanted to see you happily married for awhile.”
I know you have Mom, and I really do think I am going to be happy with Bert. I just want his shoulder to heal more, before we set dates.”
You could set the date for a few weeks from now if you want Justine, he will be nicely healed by then.”
I don’t know Mom, the truth is I am nervous.”
I understand sweetie, but it’s going to be okay.”
I know it will Mom. I guess the jitters are normal, but it’s more than that. The monsters who hurt Brandi, and took Bert are still on the lose.”
Justine I believe they will be caught.”
I want to believe that too. But the truth is I am having trouble.”
Lord give me the strength I need, and help me to see that something is going to be done about these men, these monsters who murdered Brandi and hurt Bert. I cannot keep feeling the fear like this, and I am not sure if it’s going to stop until these monsters are caught. Lord I know you have the power to make this happen. I thank you Lord for hearing my prayers.
Your not questioning whether or not you should Mary Bert are you?”
No Mom, that’s one of the few things I am not questioning. I am questioning why a killer is still walking free.”

Justine I have that very same question.”
I know Mom. I am sorry for being selfish. I know I wasn’t the only one affected by what happened.”
It’s okay sweetie, but I think this is God’s way of showing you, we must move on.”
I think your right Mom.”
Justine was thankful for her Mother, and her support. Thankful that they had a few days together, the circumstances were certainly not the way they wanted, but at least Bert was alive, and would be going home. They did have reason to celebrate though Bert was going to be fine, they were all going to be heading back home. The drive home made them all nervous, but they would make the trip with the good Lord’s help.
The Lord had got them this far, she had to believe that they would all get home safely. The Lord would guide their path, and protect them.
First they would have to make a stop and pick up Brandi’s journal, the one that Bert had said he had discarded. He had a vague idea of where it could be, and Justine had to find it. She needed that journal to understand more of what her sister had gone through, the journal held details that the disk did not. She needed to know more about what had happened before her sister was murdered.
I don’t want to put others in danger Lord, but I need Brandi’s journal, and if that journal falls into the wrong hands it could be even more dangerous. I just want the journal Lord, and I want this ten year old nightmare to be over. Ten years is a long time to be living a nightmare.
The Lord blessed Justine of course and she knew that. Sometimes she felt selfish when she asked him for more, but she could not spend her entire life living in the shadow of her dead sister. A shadow she had put herself in granted, no one else had done it. She had carried the guilt, like it was a scar that she could never let go of, but now it was time to let go of a lot of things. Guilt being only one of them.
She was tired of feeling guilty for something she could not help. Tired of not having answers to the questions she had asked thousands of times.
It was time to focus on her blessings not the negative things. Justine knew that. She knew it was time to get on with her life.
Justine opened her Bible once again, thanking God for his word. Sometimes that was the only thing that saw her through reading his word.
Psalm 103 spoke to Justine’s heart this day.
Of David.
1 Praise the Lord, my soul;

all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

2 Praise the Lord, my soul,

and forget not all his benefits—

3 who forgives all your sins

and heals all your diseases,

4 who redeems your life from the pit

and crowns you with love and compassion,

5 who satisfies your desires with good things

so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
6 The Lord works righteousness

and justice for all the oppressed.
7 He made known his ways to Moses,

his deeds to the people of Israel:

8 The Lord is compassionate and gracious,

slow to anger, abounding in love.

9 He will not always accuse,

nor will he harbor his anger forever;

10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve

or repay us according to our iniquities.

11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,

so great is his love for those who fear him;

12 as far as the east is from the west,

so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
13 As a father has compassion on his children,

so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;

14 for he knows how we are formed,

he remembers that we are dust.

15 The life of mortals is like grass,

they flourish like a flower of the field;

16 the wind blows over it and it is gone,

and its place remembers it no more.

17 But from everlasting to everlasting

the Lord’s love is with those who fear him,

and his righteousness with their children’s children—

18 with those who keep his covenant

and remember to obey his precepts.
19 The Lord has established his throne in heaven,

and his kingdom rules over all.

20 Praise the Lord, you his angels,

you mighty ones who do his bidding,

who obey his word.

21 Praise the Lord, all his heavenly hosts,

you his servants who do his will.

22 Praise the Lord, all his works

everywhere in his dominion.
Praise the Lord, my soul.
Justine put her Bible away. Thankful for the Lord, and all he had done for her. Reading the word brought her a sense of peace, unlike nothing else. It was a blessing being able to live for the Lord.

After spending time in the word and in prayer, Justine and her Mother packed up there suitcases, and went to go pick up Bert. They were finally going home, after they found that journal and they prayed they would be able to find and find safely. The journal meant a lot to Justine, because it would be like having a little piece of her sister with her.
Ready to get out of here?” Justine asked.
I am more than ready to get out of here.”
Let’s get you released, and we can head out of here.”
After we stop to get the journal.” Bert said.
Yes after that, are you sure you are up to it?”
I am more than up to it sweetie. If it gets me out of the hospital. I am up to it.”
Lord thank you for letting Bert be okay. I know that you have blessed us by getting us this far, and you have spared Bert. You know how much he means to me Lord, and I am more than thankful for that. I am thankful that I get a chance to Mary the man of my dreams Lord, because you let him survive his horrible ordeal. I ask that you continue to bless us, and allow us to make it to our wedding without any more drama. I love you Lord and I thank you.

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