Not As It Seems Chapters 21-26

Chapter Twenty One:

“Have I told you how proud of you I am?” Mom asked while we were on the phone after I got home from teaching.

“Yes Mom, you have, thank you, I owe it to the Lord, and you and Daddy. But right now it’s those kids who are touching my heart. I want to be able to help others out the way Renee suggested. I can’t believe such a little girl can have such a big heart.”

“I can Justine, you were the same way.”

“I always thought I was kind of bratty at that age.”

“You got into your share of mischief sweetie, but you were never bratty. You had such a good heart. I can’t count the homeless pets you brought into the house, and I will never forget how you gave your favoirte doll to a little girl one year, because you said she looked sad, and she didn’t have a doll.”

“I’d forgotten about that.”

“That’s just like you Justine, you always remember the good things about others, but tend to overlook them in yourself. Being humble is one thing sweetie, but the Lord has given you some wonderful qualities I hope you don’t forget that.”

“I know Mom, I’ll try not to, but I don’t feel right about bragging about myself either.”

“Justine that is not what I am talking about, but you really do have a good heart.”

“Thank you Mom.”

“You are welcome sweetie, and if there is anything I can do to help you with getting Christmas gifts to the less fortunate let me know. I can ask some of our friends and neighbors to help out and buy an extra gift or two.”

“Mom thank you, that would be great..”

Lord maybe Mom is right maybe I need to think more highly of myself. I am not talking about being prideful Lord, but you have fearfully and wonderfully made me and I know that sometimes I forget that. If I am this way to myself, how can I reach out to these kids? Maybe I need to work on myself and things will happen from there.“Your welcome sweetie, I want to help you, you know that. And I want to be able to help those who may not have other things.”

 

“I know Mom, I remember you taught me the importance of giving at a very young age. That factored in my career decision and in what I do in my life. In fact it factored in me being able to get through the accident. I don’t think I thank you enough Mom, but I really am thankful.”

“I know you are sweetie, and I am thankful for all you do for me as well.”

“I don’t think I do all that much for you Mom.”

“Justine you do more than you know, I am blessed to have a daughter like you. I see other parents dealing with children who are wild or unruly or just want to break ties once they leave home, but you were never that way. I knew you would spread your wings sweetie, but I also knew that if I ever needed you, you would be there for me.”

“Just as you have been there for me Mom. In more ways than you know.”

“I am glad I could help sweetie. I am your Mother and that’s my job.”

“I love you sweetie.”

“Love you too. Give Daddy my love.”

“Daddy wants to know if you would come over for dinner next week? He is going to barebecue, you know how much he likes to put on huge barebecues.”

“That would be great Mom.”

“Saturday around three.”

“Tell Daddy I will be there.”

“He will be happy to hear that.”

I loved the fact that my parents and I were still close. I knew I was truly blessed to have parents like this, and just thinking about Helen and Heather made me realize even more how truly blessed I was. It was sad that not all parents loved their children as they should, but I had lived a life free of abuse, and I knew that was truly a blessing. I had been spanked when I was out of line, but I knew now that made me a better person and did not constitute abuse, the way everyone tried to say now a days. A lot of the disrepsect stemmed from that fact I believed. Children would be more respectful if they were allowed to discipline and I wasn’t talking about the kind of abuse that left scars both physical and emotional, but the kind of discipline that allowed a child to learn right from wrong.

Mom and Dad had made sure I showed them respect and when I got out of line. I would get either a spanking or put in a time out, and I had privilleges taken away, but though it may have upset me when I was younger. I understood now why they did that. I may not have children of my own and the truth was I wasn’t sure I would even be able to, but if I did I would want to teach them and raise them the way Mom and Dad had raised me with discipline and respect.

I was grateful for what I had learned in my childhood from my parents, and the fact that I had come to the Lord. I understood that the world did not revolve around me, and though I did have times I went through rebellious streaks, it did not mean I gave up on my faith. I was just being a kid, and even when I rebelled I knew that the Lord was going to be there for me and that my parents cared. I may have told my parents in anger before that they did not love me, as many teenagers did, but I knew that was not true . My parents loved me very much.

Lord why can’t all children have the kind of love and guidance I did growing up? It makes me so sad to think that some parents are so full of hate, that they would hurt their children, even kill them. I hope I am wrong about Helen and Heathers Father killing their sister, but I have a feeling that is what happened and I can not shake that feeling. If I am right please protect these precious children, all the children in the household and let justice be done for this little girl who lost her life. It is not fair that these children should have to go through this, that any children should have to go through this. I love you Lord and I appreciated that you help me through these difficult times.Being a teacher was rewarding, but I was learning that it could be heartbreaking two especially when I had children like Helen and Heather, children I feared were being hurt at the hands of their father. I did not know where to begin, but these children broke my heart as did Kyle for very different reasons. Still I was glad to be a teacher, glad that the Lord had placed this calling on my heart. I knew that though I may struggle from time to time the Lord was going to be faithful to bless me, and I was going to do my best to not take for granted those blessings. I did not want to take for granted any of the Lord’s blessings.

 

I found myself tunring to the word once again, seeking the Lord’s guidance in things. I was grateful that I had that relationship, that I could turn to him for what I needed. I remembered what I had learned in church long ago about how God provided for Elijah and the family in 1st Kings 17

1 Kings 17

1 Now Elijah the Tishbite, from Tishbe[

Elijah Announces a Great Drought

a] in Gilead, said to Ahab, “As the LORD, the God of Israel, lives, whom I serve, there will be neither dew nor rain in the next few years except at my word.” a
Take up the cause of the fatherless; 
plead the case of the widow. b
I will thoroughly purge away your dross 
and remove all your impurities. 
26 I will restore your leaders as in days of old, 
your rulers as at the beginning. 
Afterward you will be called 
the City of Righteousness, 
the Faithful City.”

Chapter Twenty Four:

Did you say anything to your teacher? Aerial asked Helen and Heather.

Chapter Twenty Five:

 

I knew I needed to focus on the class that was here at the moment. I had kids who needed my attention but I could not keep Helen and Heather off of my mind. I wondered what I could do to help these precious children. I wanted to help them, but it seemed last time I tried to help it had only made matters worse, and caused me to receive threats.

I still shuttered thinking about that huge rock going through my window shattering it, I had the window repaired, but the fear was still there. I had to shake it but it was hard, this was all hard. In my four years of teaching I had not come across a situation like this, and that was a good thing, but it did happen and now I was seeing that. It broke my heart.

Lord help me to be able to focus on the students who are here with me right now, and protect Helen and Heather I do not know what’s happening, but I am scared to think of what it could be.“Miss Kimball why haven’t Helen and Hannah been to class? Are they sick? Renee asked out of concerned. She was starting to befriend Helen and I had been grateful for that. They needed friends.

 

“I don’t know.”

“I think their Dad hurts them.” Renee came to my desk and whispered.

I just nodded in agreement, not knowing what to say. These children were pretty observant, and of course they would see that something was not right. They were seven, and they knew right from wrong. And what was happening to Helen and Heather was definitely wrong.

Lord these kids are more observant than I have given them credit for. They are sensing Helen and Heathers hurt and they are wanting to do something about it. Why can’t more adults take the lead of children like Renee sometimes. I can’t understand how anyone would want to hurt one of these precious children.“Can’t we do something Miss Kimball?” Renee asked. I could see the concern etched on her young face. The same concern I had.

 

“I have already called about it Renee. I am not sure what else we can do.”

“Someone needs to do something.”

“I know Renee, let’s pray about it okay.”

“Okay Miss Kimball.” Renee said walking back to her desk, looking sad and defeated. That was not how I wanted her to feel, but I was starting to feel that way myself.

I am with you my child. Turn to me, I can help you through this.I had been praying, but I did not know if I had truly given it over to the Lord. It seemed I was still holding onto the fear, and the desire to fix things myself. I needed to realize that the Lord had the control and I had to let go.

 

But sometimes letting go was hard.

I had to let go of the grief after the doctor told me I would never walk again, but this was different. Children’s life were at stake.

I know these children, I love them, they are my children.Why was I questioning this? The Lord had everything under control, I should have known that. I should not allowed the fear of what was going to happen to these children take over my life. I knew that bad things did happen, I had lived some of them, but nothing like these children. My parents had never done anything but loved me and supported me. I was grateful for that. Grateful for all the Lord was doing.

 

The Lord was going to help me through this and I had to believe he was going to help these children.

He was using me to do that, I saw that now. I could not let the fear or the threats stop me from doing what I had to do, to protect them. The Lord would protect me and if I got hurt protecting them, I would live with it, but I could not live with myself if these children got killed.

I am going to get through this Lord I know that now, and I have to believe you have those children in your hand. Sorry that I have doubted you Lord, I know that you are with me, that you are with these children. I just feel so lost sometimes. I need to get through this, and I need to be able to do what you would have me to do. Sometimes that is just letting you move, but Lord sometimes I have trouble with that. It seems I am always wanting to do and not wanting to let you move. I love you Lord, and I am going to do my best to stay still and listen to what you are telling me.I was finally letting the Lord take control of my life, the way he should. I was doing what I could to make it through this. The Lord was going to get me through this and he was going to protect those children. I had to believe that for my sake and Renee’s and all my students. They were all starting to see what was happening to Helen and Heather I think they were getting frightened. Abuse like that could not be hidden forever, it should not be hidden at all, it should not happen. In a perfect world it would not happen, but sadly we did not live in a perfect world, there had been since the Garden of Eden.

 

Why do the children so often have to be the victim of our sins? Why do we hurt the children?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Twenty Six:

Justine we are proud of the decision you made, you are going to be a great teacher.

I’m not there yet Mom, I have to finish the degree, and then actually stand in front of a classroom.

You are going to make Justine I know that.

Thank you Mom, I appreciate that, and I appreciate your support.

I know you do sweetie, that’s a parents job.

I couldn’t have made it this far without you. I doubt I would have made it out of the hospital without you.

And the good Lord, your Daddy and Gina.

Yes that’s true .

We all love you Justine.

I know Mom thank you.

You are going to make a difference on child at a time, teachers have a special calling and I know you are going to make a great teacher.

I hope so.

Don’t question it if this is what the Lord called you to do, then you are going to succeed beyond your wildest imagination.

I hope so Mom.

I know so Justine.

I just am a little frightened Mom, and I know I shouldn’t let the fear stop me, I am not going to do that, but I just feel overwhelmed by it all sometimes.

Sweetie I know and you are doing well for yourself, but if you ever need to talk you know I am here. Just because you are growing up doesn’t mean I stop being your Mother.

I know Mom and I appreciate that, but sometimes I just don’t know what to say. I don’t want to worry you.

I worry more when you don’t say anything. I don’t like to see you bottle things in.

I try not to Mom.

I know you do sweetie.

I am going to try my hardest to be the best teacher I can be.

You will do great sweetie, I know that.

I hope so.

I know so.

My Mom was being an encouragement to me, as she often was, but I was still feeling a bit overwhelmed. I was going to get through this, and I was sure I was going to make a good teacher, but this was hard. I was facing the realities of life in a chair and having to finish college. I had a lot to face, but the Lord was going to see me through it. That I no longer had any doubts about.

The Lord had moved in my life, I had no questions about that.

Justine your Mom is right, you are going to do great. Gina said. She was staying with me in my new place now, but was going to get a place of her own soon. I was proud of her for her determination and for the fact that she had decided to go back to school to get her law degree.

She was going to help those who needed help, those who needed to see justice served. I knew that Gina was going to do great at what she did. Why was I questioning myself then?

I had to start being more confident in myself. The Lord did not want me to be proud, he wanted me to be humble, but neither did he want me to think lowly of myself. I was his child, fearfully and wonderfully made, and I was going to make a difference as a teacher, when the time came. For now I could do the best I could in my classes and try to help others as I could.

 

Helen and Heather weren’t in class again. I didn’t like it. They hadn’t been to class since I had gotten the threats. It was speaking more and more to me of this mans guilt, but at the moment I was not so worried about the threats that were still coming my way, but the lives of these children were what weighed more on my mind all the more.

No we didn’t say anything. We promised we wouldn’t Aerial.

Someone came out here and talked Daddy, he’s mad, he hit Jefferey bad.

We didn’t say anything Aerial, I promise you.

Well someone did.

I don’t know Aerial. Is Jefferey okay?” Helen asked.

I don’t know.

He’s not going to die like Kristine did.

I don’t think so, but we have to be careful okay. Daddy says none of us can go to school next week. We have to call in sick.

We were going on a field trip.

He doesn’t care about that, you know that.

I’m scared Aerial.

I know it will be okay.

What if we get killed like Kristine.

We are not, because we are not going to get in trouble like Kristine.

How can you be sure Aerial? Daddy is not right in the head, he gets mad at us even when we do nothing wrong.

Melanie, Jeffery and I are going to protect you, we promised.

You weren’t able to protect us from his fist the other day.

We tried Helen, we are sorry. Daddy is just to quick sometimes.

I know that’s why I am so scared.

Daddy knows when you are scared, that makes him want to hurt us more.

Why?

I don’t know.

I’m still scared Aerial.

It’s going to be okay.

I don’t know Aerial. I don’t want to miss school. I feel safe there.

If we disobey Daddy we will get hurt Helen you know that.

I know. I just hate missing school.

We will stick together okay.

Okay.

Aerial why don’t we run away?

Cuz he would find us and kill us for sure, and make it look like an accident.

You mean the way he did with Kristine.

Yeah.

I wish we had a Daddy who was right in the head. One who didn’t hurt and kill his children.

Me too.

Heather remained quiet even at home. The fear had almost made her mute. It was up to Helen to protect her twin in anyway she could, and Aerial, Jeffery, and Melanie would help.

I think we should go check on Jefferey. Aerial finally said.

Is Daddy gone?

Yeah.

I wish Mom would do something.

Mom either sits in the rocker in Kristne’s room or lays in bed all day. She doesn’t even know what’s going on. I think Daddy likes it that way.

I know but I wish Mom were better. That things were the way they were before Daddy killed Kristine. I wish Daddy had never killed Kristine.

He’s a monster Helen. I keep telling you that.

I know, but I don’t know why.

He’s just not right in the head.

I know that Aerial, I was just thinking out loud.

Okay.

I will help you through next week okay.

Thank you Aerial. Now let’s go see Jefferey.

Helen and Heather looked at their brother, the bruises were not only on his arms and legs, but it looked like Daddy had slugged him in the face.

Daddy’s loosing control. The very thought was enough to terrify them.

We didn’t say anything Jeffery. I don’t know why Daddy hit you.

Jeffery just lay on his bed, crying quiet tears, out of swollen eyes.

Can we help you Jeffery? Helen asked.

No spoken answer just a nod of his head. He didn’t like his younger sisters seeing him crying, because he didn’t want them scared. Jeffery cared very much about his sisters, and as the only boy, he wanted to protect them.

He hadn’t been able to protect Kristine though that made him sad. He loved Kristine he loved all of his sisters, but sometimes Daddy’s fist were just to quick and to powerful.

He had been hit trying to stick up for Helen and Heather, but he was not going to tell them that. It would only make them sad.

They were sad way to much, they were only little kids, seven years old in the second grade. He was bigger next year, he’d be going into high school.

Kristine never got to high school. It wasn’t fair.

Kristine shouldn’t have died. Why did Dad have to go and kill her?

It had been three years now, but it still made him mad. The monster had killed his older sister, all because she was ‘different”

What was so wrong about being different? Didn’t God make us all?

Let us know if we can help you. Helen said before leaving the room.

Heather we have to help Jefferey, we can’t let him keep getting hurt like this.

I’m scared of Daddy. Heather said. Finally breaking her silence.

I know but we can’t let Daddy kill Jefferey.

We are only kids.

You remember what teacher said about kids being able to make a difference?

Yeah. But what can we do?

We have to tell someone.

We promised we wouldn’t.

That’s not a good promise to keep Heather. Daddy will kill us for sure if we don’t get someone to do something.

What if they separate us?

We won’t let them.

How can we stop them?

 

Heather this is the right thing, but please don’t tell Aerial or Melanie or Jeffery. Okay?

I’m not, but I am still scared Helen.

I am too Heather.

We will talk to teacher after we go back to school next week.

What if Daddy does something to us before then?

We are going to have to pray he doesn’t.

Okay I will pray Heather.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I knew that if the Lord had provided for Elijah and used the Ravens to feed him, he would certainly provide for me. The Lord never changed, and if he said he was going to provide he would, it was our own lack of faith sometimes that did not allow us to see his provisions. I knew that now and I was grateful for that.

Elijah Fed by Ravens

2 Then the word of the LORD came to Elijah: 3 “Leave here, turn eastward and hide in the Kerith Ravine, east of the Jordan. 4 You will drink from the brook, and I have directed the ravens to supply you with food there.”

5 So he did what the LORD had told him. He went to the Kerith Ravine, east of the Jordan, and stayed there. 6 The ravens brought him bread and meat in the morning and bread and meat in the evening, and he drank from the brook.

Elijah and the Widow at Zarephath

7 Some time later the brook dried up because there had been no rain in the land. 8 Then the word of the LORD came to him: 9 “Go at once to Zarephath in the region of Sidon and stay there. I have directed a widow there to supply you with food.” 10 So he went to Zarephath. When he came to the town gate, a widow was there gathering sticks. He called to her and asked, “Would you bring me a little water in a jar so I may have a drink?” 11 As she was going to get it, he called, “And bring me, please, a piece of bread.”

12 “As surely as the LORD your God lives,” she replied, “I don’t have any bread—only a handful of flour in a jar and a little olive oil in a jug. I am gathering a few sticks to take home and make a meal for myself and my son, that we may eat it—and die.”

13 Elijah said to her, “Don’t be afraid. Go home and do as you have said. But first make a small loaf of bread for me from what you have and bring it to me, and then make something for yourself and your son. 14 For this is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: ‘The jar of flour will not be used up and the jug of oil will not run dry until the day the LORD sends rain on the land.’”

15 She went away and did as Elijah had told her. So there was food every day for Elijah and for the woman and her family. 16 For the jar of flour was not used up and the jug of oil did not run dry, in keeping with the word of the LORD spoken by Elijah.

17 Some time later the son of the woman who owned the house became ill. He grew worse and worse, and finally stopped breathing. 18 She said to Elijah, “What do you have against me, man of God? Did you come to remind me of my sin and kill my son?”

19 “Give me your son,” Elijah replied. He took him from her arms, carried him to the upper room where he was staying, and laid him on his bed. 20 Then he cried out to the LORD, “LORD my God, have you brought tragedy even on this widow I am staying with, by causing her son to die?” 21 Then he stretched himself out on the boy three times and cried out to the LORD, “LORD my God, let this boy’s life return to him!”

22 The LORD heard Elijah’s cry, and the boy’s life returned to him, and he lived. 23 Elijah picked up the child and carried him down from the room into the house. He gave him to his mother and said, “Look, your son is alive!”

24 Then the woman said to Elijah, “Now I know that you are a man of God and that the word of the LORD from your mouth is the truth.”

 

Chapter Twenty Two:

Justine we are all so proud of you. We are going to miss you but we love you. If you ever need to come home you know you have a place.

Chapter Twenty Three:

I found myself sitting at my desk once again, waiting for my students to come in from recess. Today had been a good day so far, Kyle had not been to disruptive, but I didn’t feel I was making much progress with Helen and Heather either, but I had to give that to the Lord. I had to give a lot to the Lord.

Lord I am having trouble giving this to you Lord, and I know that’s just silly. These children are in your hands, we are all in your hands whether or not we choose to see it. If we get lost it is not because of something you did, but because of what we have done. I do not know what I would do without you Lord, and I do thank you that Kyle seems to be behaving himself more today. I know that that alone is a miracle, others may see it as something small Lord, but I don’t. I believe you are going to work on Kyle’s heart just as I believe you are going to work on the situation just as you are going to work on the situation with Helen and Heather Lord. I may not know exactly what happens to those girls at home, but you do Lord, and you have them in your hands. I have to see that now Lord. I am starting to see that now Lord, and I thank you.I was grateful for the faith that allowed me to get through the struggles, the faith that had allowed me to have the courage to fight to be able to sit in front of the classroom. I had to prove myself to a few people that I could do this. Some people just had trouble looking past the chair, but that was not my problem but there’s and I understood that now. The Lord had showed me that though the Lord did not cause the accident, he could use me despite it. It showed me that the Lord could use me no matter what. There was no limits to the ways the Lord could use me if he saw fit to use me, and the only thing that would stop me would be myself.

 

As I looked around the classroom. My fourth year as a teacher, I found myself thinking of how blessed I was. At twenty six the Lord had blessed me with a career I loved, and had got me through a life changing accident. The only thing I did not yet have was the family I had always dreamed of, but I was not sure having children would be an option for me. But it wasn’t ruled out either, if the Lord saw fit for me to fall and love and become a parent then I would do just that. If I let myself be used by the Lord.

When the children gathered in after the bell rang. I found myself thanking the Lord for each one of them. Though Kyle may cause trouble the fact was he was one of God’s children and I needed to do my best to reach out to him. I was doing that with the Lord’s help.

“Class I am very proud of the way you guys are helping each other out. “

“Your welcome.” Renee was the first to say.

“I want you to continue to work on your ideas and help each other out. And Kyle I want to say thank you for trying to be better in class. I know its hard for you sometimes, but you are doing so much better and I am proud of you.”

For the first time in the months I had him in class I saw Kyle smile. I mean truly smile not out of meaness, but out of surprise, and out of the fact that he had done something good. That he was behaving himself.

“I knew you could do it.Kyle.” I told him I wanted him to know I appreciated the effort he was making. I knew it was not always going to be easy but not everything in life was easy. I was grateful that the Lord had done that.

Kyle didn’t say anything, but his smile spoke volumes. For once I saw happiness and joy in this little boy who always seemed bent on hurting others. I still did not know why he had been this way, but I could see the Lord was working on him and that my prayers were being answered. The Lord had an amazing way of answering prayers.

Lord I know this has to be you, I see such a change already. I was beating my fist in the air not knowing what to do with Kyle and already you are working on him. I owe you more thanks than I can even begin to say. I am grateful for the ways you are moving in lives Lord, and I am believing you are going to continue to move. I do not want to take for granted the ways you move Lord, let me never do that, and let me continue to praise you, even when I am struggling. Especially when I am struggling. I love you Lord, and I thank you.“Class I am very proud of each and every one of you. You are all doing many great things. I know some of us have some areas that we have trouble with, so please if you need help with something come to me.”

 

“Sometimes we can help each other.” Renee offered.

“Yes helping each other is a great idea. We also want to keep working on helping those that don’t have as much as we do.”

“Teacher I gave some of my toys to the shelter, some kids don’t have toys, and they need them.” Megan offered.

“Megan I am very happy you did that, I bet you made a lot of kids happy too.”

“I hope so.”

“I am sure you did sweetie. You guys all make me proud. We can all make a difference even if its one person at a time.”

“Even kids can make a difference.” Renee added.

“Yes they can, and I am proud of each and everyone of you, for trying to make a difference.”

“Thank you teacher.”

“You are welcome.”

 

Chapter Twenty Three:

I was startled by the sound of a large crash, and windows breaking.

A huge rock hurled into my window, with a note tied to it.

Whose doing this Lord?I found myself feeling afraid, more afraid than I had been after the accident. I had never felt this kind of threat before, but this was not something I was going to have to go through alone. I found myself once again thanking the Lord for the fact that he was with me throughout this. I could not get through any of this without the Lord, and now I was feeling a deeper feel than I had ever felt, and I was going to need to lean on the Lord.

If you know what’s good for you, you will mind your own buissness.

 

Why is this happening Lord?I wanted to call Mom and Dad and let them know what was happening. I did not want to worry them though, or somehow drag them into this. If I was in danger, I would not feel good if somehow I put them in danger. I was just going to have to lean on the Lord, and pray I would get through this.

 

The phone rang startling me.

I know you got the warning, stop sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong.The phone went silent on the other end before I could find out who was doing this to me and why. I had never imagined I would feel so afraid in my life. I never imagined I would have someone threatening me like this.

Who is this? Why are you doing this to me?

Because you can’t mind your own bussiness.

I don’t know what you are talking about.

You will figure it out soon enough.

What’s that supposed to me?

You’ll find out.

 

Next time the rock won’t miss you, next time it may not be a rock, but a bullet.I tried to sleep but my mind was to busy, and I was to full of fear. I could not let the fear stop me from living my life though. I had learned that before, but the Lord had got me through that, and I had to believe he would get me through this. I could not loose faith. I needed not to fear anyone but the Lord himself.

Lord why is this happening? I have never been so frightened in my life, but Lord I am not giving up on my faith. I know that you are going to help me through this. Protect me Lord, because I have a feeling I am going to need it. You are the only one who can truly protect me in the ways I need protecting.

 

I can’t do this without you Lord. I need your help getting through this. I love you Lord and I praise you, and I have to believe you are going to help me through this. I know you are. Each sound I heard was enough to make me crawl out of my skin that night. But despite that I did believe that the Lord was with me, that he would protect me. He already had, the rock had missed me, if it had hit me I could have been seriously injured or worse.

 

Why did someone want me dead? I had a lot of questions I did not have answers for. I was not accustomed to being threatened like this. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why someone wanted me dead.

 

I couldn’t figure out a lot of things, what I did know was that I needed to lean on the Lord, and I needed to make sure I did not put the kids in my class or my loved ones in danger.

Your class, this has to do with one of the parents in your class.As soon as the thought crossed my mind, I knew that if I was right, it was likely connected to Helen and Heather, but my report had been anonymous. Most reports of abuse were, but I was not going to let someone bull me into keeping quiet not when children were in danger. I could not let them get hurt because someone was threatening me.

 

This spoke more of my fears. I believed that I was going to make it through this, and I was starting to believe that I had been right. Helen and Heather were in danger. Their Sisters death had not been an accident, the pieces just didn’t seem to fit. None of it made sense really, and now I was being threatened I was going to make sure these children were safe that I could help them in anyway I could. I was their teacher and I could not let myself sit back and do nothing.

You can’t risk your life either, you are going to need to get someone involved in this. Contact the police.I had got another call and had been threatened not to call the police, or something would happen, not to me, but to the kids in my class.

 

What kind of monster threatens a classroom full of seven year olds?I could not let myself be stopped though. I could not let my fears stop me from doing what’s right. If these kids were in danger, they had to get out of that house. If I was right all those children were in danger, and who knew when that monster would snap again. It could only be a matter of time.

The same type of person who kills a thirteen year old girl, because she is not smart enough according to him.

Someone whose sick in more ways than one.

 

I had a feeling things were always going on. The girls refused to take their coats off in the warm classroom. I had a feeling they were hiding something. The bruises probably brought on buy their father. I was seeing more and more signs of abuse, and nothing was being done. It was starting to make me sick to my stomach. I could never understand how anyone could hurt a child purposely let alone a parent.

I found myself turning to Isaiah 1 late that night when I could not sleep. Contemplating the fact that the Lord was so forgiving, but I knew also that he frowned on his children being hurt. He saw children as precious just as I did.

Isaiah 1

1 The vision concerning Judah and Jerusalem that Isaiah son of Amoz saw during the reigns of Uzziah, Jotham, Ahaz and Hezekiah, kings of Judah.

A Rebellious Nation

2 Hear me, you heavens! Listen, earth! 
For the LORD has spoken: 
“I reared children and brought them up, 
but they have rebelled against me. 
3 The ox knows its master, 
the donkey its owner’s manger, 
but Israel does not know, 
my people do not understand.”

4 Woe to the sinful nation, 
a people whose guilt is great, 
a brood of evildoers, 
children given to corruption! 
They have forsaken the LORD; 
they have spurned the Holy One of Israel 
and turned their backs on him.

5 Why should you be beaten anymore? 
Why do you persist in rebellion? 
Your whole head is injured, 
your whole heart afflicted. 
6 From the sole of your foot to the top of your head 
there is no soundness— 
only wounds and welts 
and open sores, 
not cleansed or bandaged 
or soothed with olive oil.

7 Your country is desolate, 
your cities burned with fire; 
your fields are being stripped by foreigners 
right before you, 
laid waste as when overthrown by strangers. 
8 Daughter Zion is left 
like a shelter in a vineyard, 
like a hut in a cucumber field, 
like a city under siege. 
9 Unless the LORD Almighty 
had left us some survivors, 
we would have become like Sodom, 
we would have been like Gomorrah.

10 Hear the word of the LORD, 
you rulers of Sodom; 
listen to the instruction of our God, 
you people of Gomorrah! 
11 “The multitude of your sacrifices— 
what are they to me?” says the LORD. 
“I have more than enough of burnt offerings, 
of rams and the fat of fattened animals; 
I have no pleasure 
in the blood of bulls and lambs and goats. 
12 When you come to appear before me, 
who has asked this of you, 
this trampling of my courts? 
13 Stop bringing meaningless offerings! 
Your incense is detestable to me. 
New Moons, Sabbaths and convocations— 
I cannot bear your worthless assemblies. 
14 Your New Moon feasts and your appointed festivals 
I hate with all my being. 
They have become a burden to me; 
I am weary of bearing them. 
15 When you spread out your hands in prayer, 
I hide my eyes from you; 
even when you offer many prayers, 
I am not listening.

Your hands are full of blood! 
16 Wash and make yourselves clean. 
Take your evil deeds out of my sight; 
stop doing wrong. 
17 Learn to do right; seek justice. 
Defend the oppressed.[

18 “Come now, let us settle the matter,” 
says the LORD. 
“Though your sins are like scarlet, 
they shall be as white as snow; 
though they are red as crimson, 
they shall be like wool. 
19 If you are willing and obedient, 
you will eat the good things of the land; 
20 but if you resist and rebel, 
you will be devoured by the sword.” 
For the mouth of the LORD has spoken.

21 See how the faithful city 
has become a prostitute! 
She once was full of justice; 
righteousness used to dwell in her— 
but now murderers! 
22 Your silver has become dross, 
your choice wine is diluted with water. 
23 Your rulers are rebels, 
partners with thieves; 
they all love bribes 
and chase after gifts. 
They do not defend the cause of the fatherless; 
the widow’s case does not come before them.

24 Therefore the Lord, the LORD Almighty, 
the Mighty One of Israel, declares: 
“Ah! I will vent my wrath on my foes 
and avenge myself on my enemies. 
25 I will turn my hand against you;[

27 Zion will be delivered with justice, 
her penitent ones with righteousness. 
28 But rebels and sinners will both be broken, 
and those who forsake the LORD will perish.

29 “You will be ashamed because of the sacred oaks 
in which you have delighted; 
you will be disgraced because of the gardens 
that you have chosen. 
30 You will be like an oak with fading leaves, 
like a garden without water. 
31 The mighty man will become tinder 
and his work a spark; 
both will burn together, 
with no one to quench the fire.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I think its time for me to leave Mom, but I’m not going far, I will only be a few miles away. I just want a place closer to the college, and I want to know that I can make it on my own. I don’t want to let the accident limit me.

Justine you are doing anything but that.

I couldn’t have gotten this far without your love and support. I am truly grateful Mom, and I am glad you are letting me go.

I know as much as I want to I can’t hold on to you forever sweetie.

I will always be your daughter, and I will always love you.

I know sweetie and Daddy and I will always love you, and we will always be here for you.

We are starting to sound like I am moving across country not town. I said laughing, trying to lighten the mood.

I know sweetie, but its just that so much has happened in the past year.

I know Mom, I have lived through it.

I know sweetie, and I am proud of how strong you were through all of this.

It’s only by God’s grace Mom.

I know sweetie, I am so grateful for God’s grace.

As am I Mom.

Daddy’s going to help you load the car.

Thank you.

I am glad that your dreams are coming true sweetie. I was so afraid we had lost you when we got the call about the accident.

I know Mom, but God had a plan for me.

Amen and I am glad he saw fit to keep you here with us longer.

Amen I am too.

I love you Justine, I hope you know that.

I know you do.

There may have been times I was a little hard on you, but that’s only because I wanted the best forr you.

I know that now Mom. I may not have always appreciated it at the time, but I do know and understand that now and I am grateful. You and Daddy were there for me, when I needed you most and I am grateful for that.

We are your parents, that’s what we do.

But you and Daddy go above and beyond the call.

That’s because we love you.

I love you too Mom and I love Daddy too.

We know that sweetie.

Good.

I followed Dad out to the car. Listening as he gave me fatherly instructions and told me to call him if I needed help with anything. I knew that Daddy liked to fix things and if I needed anything fixed he would gladly help. I was grateful Daddy was handy that way, because it would save me a lot of money and it would allow me to spend time with him. I was grateful that we were still so close we wanted to spend time together. I knew I was blessed to have the Daddy I had.

Justine I want you to call me if you need anything.

I will Daddy.

I am happy for you, I may not say it enough.. Sometimes I have trouble expressing my heart. I guess it’s because my Daddy was the same way, but I love you just as your Granddaddy loved me. Sometimes it’s just hard for a man to say what’s on his heart.

Daddy I have never questioned your love for me.

I am glad Justine, because I really do love you. I am proud to have a daughter like you.

Thank you Daddy, I think you and Mom had something to do with that.

I hope so.

I know you did, the Lord blessed me with caring parents and I am grateful for that. I know not everyone is so blessed.

I know hun.

I will call you if I need anything I promise Dad. And I will come by and visit a lot, and I would love it if you came by. I am going to miss you, but I am only moving across town.

I know hun. But your Mom and I are having a hard time letting go.

I know Dad, and I was having a hard time moving on, but I know now my life is not over. I have to live, I have to dream, and I have to do what the Lord would have me to do.

I know you will do just that. Justine you are listening to the Lord’s leading in your life, and as your Father I could not be more proud.

Thank you Daddy. I could not have gotten through this without the Lord and all the wonderful people he has placed in my life, including you and Mom.

I am glad hun.

Me too.

You and Mom have helped me a lot. I could not have gotten through this past year without you both, but I am glad you understand I need to go. I need to do this, because the Lord wants me to move on I truly believe that Dad.

I do to hun, and that is why I am able to let you do this. I am just happy you are okay I could not have made it through lossing you.

I am glad I am okay too Dad. I may not be able to walk, but I am living a good life. I see that now.

I am glad that you see that. I am starting to see that though this terrible thing has happened to you it has not changed who you are.

It took me awhile to see that myself Dad. I almost did let it change who I was. If I would have kept wallowing in the things I can not change I would have become bitter and that is not who I want to be.

I am glad that the Lord showed you that.

Me too

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