Edges of Ruin: Chapter 10-11

Chapter Ten:

He gives me something bitter tasting, I don’t know what it is, and I try to spit it out, but he holds my mouth closed.  I know what he is trying to do, he is trying to make me suffer.  I know I shouldn’t swallow this stuff, but he is making me do just that. He is making me swallow this nasty tasting stuff, and I know he wants to make me hurt.  He wants to make me sick, and I know that in the end he is going to kill me. He told me that much himself.  Daddies are supposed to love their daughters, so why does mine hate me?

I have my faith in Jesus, and I try hard to think about the things we learned in Sunday school.  I try to remember that no matter what this monster does to me Jesus loves me, and I am going to make it.  I know that Jesus was with me even out here, where I was scared and hurting.  The pain on the inside, the pain of knowing my Daddy wanted to kill me was the worst hurt of all.  I wanted a Father who loved me, then I had to remind myself I had a Father who loved me.  I had the Lord God and his son Jesus Christ.

I knew Jasmine was following closely behind us.  And the monster kept saying he should kill her, that he should just kill Jasmine and make Cheyenne watch.  Cheyenne felt sick inside and it wasn’t just from the stuff he had shoved down her throat, it was because he wanted to make her suffer like this.  Something was very wrong with this man, her Daddy was a monster, and she hated that.  She wondered why she couldn’t have a regular Father like the other kids in school had.  Their Daddies were trying to kill them the way her Daddy was.

The monster had shot her Mother too, made it so she couldn’t help Chenelle.  Jesus had sent her Jasmine though, Cheyenne was thankful for Jasmine, and prayed that he would not hurt her, the way he wanted to.  He wanted to make sure no one was there to help her.  The monster was determined to kill her, but Jesus was stronger than anyone even the monster, and she was thankful for that. She was thankful for Jasmine, and prayed she would be okay.

She was starting to feel tired, but she was afraid to sleep.  She knew that if she fell asleep she might not wake up.  Who knew what the monster would do to her while she slept, and Cheyenne did not even want to think about the things he could do while she was sleeping instead she wanted to focus on getting out of there, and getting back to her Mom.  She had to help her Mom get better she knew she was hurt pretty badly.  Her Dad, the monster had shot her, and hurt her badly.  If she weren’t hurt Cheyenne knew she would be here, trying to help her.  If she hadn’t been shot, she would have probably stopped Lance.

The truth was Cheyenne was scared, she knew the Lord was with her, and she was thankful for that, but she could not help being scared.  It was not so much the darkness of these woods, she had never really been afraid of the dark before, but it was the darkness of the monsters soul.  The very person that was supposed to love her, was trying to kill her, and that was scary in itself.  She was going to make it out of here, she had to believe that.  She was only eight years old she did not want to die yet.  Her Mother needed her, and she needed her Mother too. 

Cheyenne had learned to memorize some of her Bible verses, and Bible Stories in class.  If God could get Daniel out of the lion’s den, he could certainly help her get away from the monster.  She was scared of course she was scared, but she knew that he wanted to see her frightened and she could not give the monster that.

Jesus you know I am scared and that I need your help.  I don’t feel so good either, and I want to sleep but Lord help me not to sleep.  I don’t know what he gave me, and I don’t want him hurting me while I am asleep.  Help Jasmine to hurry up Jesus, because I need help, I need help really bad, and on the inside I am really scared.

Cheyenne thought back to the things she had learned in church.  She had an amazing memory, part of her gifts.  She was in the gifted program at school and worked at a high school level, but still got to be around kids her own age.  She liked that, but she knew that soon her Mom was going to want to homeschool her, and she was ready for that.  After this she did not really want to go back to school, her Mom could teach her, and that would make them all happy.

Isaiah 54

The Future Glory of Zion

54 “Sing, barren woman,
    you who never bore a child;
burst into song, shout for joy,
    you who were never in labor;
because more are the children of the desolate woman
    than of her who has a husband,”
says the Lord.
“Enlarge the place of your tent,
    stretch your tent curtains wide,
    do not hold back;
lengthen your cords,
    strengthen your stakes.
For you will spread out to the right and to the left;
    your descendants will dispossess nations
    and settle in their desolate cities.

“Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame.
    Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.
You will forget the shame of your youth
    and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.
For your Maker is your husband—
    the Lord Almighty is his name—
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
    he is called the God of all the earth.
The Lord will call you back
    as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit—
a wife who married young,
    only to be rejected,” says your God.
“For a brief moment I abandoned you,
    but with deep compassion I will bring you back.
In a surge of anger
    I hid my face from you for a moment,
but with everlasting kindness
    I will have compassion on you,”
    says the Lord your Redeemer.

“To me this is like the days of Noah,
    when I swore that the waters of Noah would never again cover the earth.
So now I have sworn not to be angry with you,
    never to rebuke you again.
10 Though the mountains be shaken
    and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
    nor my covenant of peace be removed,”
    says the Lord, who has compassion on you.

11 “Afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted,
    I will rebuild you with stones of turquoise,[a]
    your foundations with lapis lazuli.
12 I will make your battlements of rubies,
    your gates of sparkling jewels,
    and all your walls of precious stones.
13 All your children will be taught by the Lord,
    and great will be their peace.
14 In righteousness you will be established:
Tyranny will be far from you;
    you will have nothing to fear.
Terror will be far removed;
    it will not come near you.
15 If anyone does attack you, it will not be my doing;
    whoever attacks you will surrender to you.

16 “See, it is I who created the blacksmith
    who fans the coals into flame
    and forges a weapon fit for its work.
And it is I who have created the destroyer to wreak havoc;
17     no weapon forged against you will prevail,
    and you will refute every tongue that accuses you.
This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord,
    and this is their vindication from me,”
declares the Lord.

Cheyenne was thankful for her ability to remember things, for that gift the Lord had given her, because she could think of what she had learned in Church or what her Mother had taught her.  They often read the Bible together before bed, and Cheyenne was thankful for that tradition.  She wanted to get home and crawl in bed with her Mother, and read the Bible with her like they had done before, she wanted to be able to do that again, and they would when she got out of this and her Mother got out of the hospital.  Things would get better, and they would go on with their lives, Cheyenne had to believe that.  She was only a little girl and still had a lot of living to do.  She was sure the Lord did not want her to die, now, like this.

She could hear Jasmine’s footsteps coming closer and closer, but she was fighting to stay awake.  Fighting very hard, because she did not want to go to sleep not knowing what this monster was going to do.  Cheyenne wondered why he hated her so much, why he had wanted to kill her?  She hadn’t done anything to hurt Lance, so why did he want to hurt her?  She was only a little girl, what kind of threat was she?

Jesus I need your help, I need your help more than ever before Jesus and I know Jasmine needs your help Lord.  I am going to make it Lord, but I need your help.  I need your help to get back to Mom she needs me so much, and I am sure she is scared.  I know I am scared too, but I am going to make it out of this without you Lord.  I am going to make it Lord, and I am going to get on with living, but I want to get out of here first.  I want this fear to go away.

Jasmine was running now, Cheyenne knew that, she could tell by the sound of her footsteps getting closer and closer, and she knew that Lance had heard her too.  Right now though Jasmine had the advantage Cheyenne knew that because her Father was falling asleep.  She was more than thankful for that, she needed him to sleep so Jasmine could have a chance to get Cheyenne safely, but still they had to be careful and Jasmine needed to hurry, because Cheyenne was feeling weaker and more tired.

Cheyenne was thankful that her Father was falling asleep, she knew it must be the Lord doing this to help them get out of here, safely.  She had prayed for help and this was what the Lord did.  Cheyenne was sure of that, and she was grateful.  Jasmine was going to get her out of here, and she was more than happy for that. 

Lord I am glad you have helped me here, and that you are going to get me out of here.  I love you Lord and I am glad you have gotten me this far, but I still need your help.  I love you Lord, and I thank you.  I love you Lord, and I want you to know that no matter what happens I am always going to love you and believe in you.


Chapter Eleven:

Jasmine knew she could wait no longer she had to move.  Something was telling her that Cheyenne was growing weaker by the moment and she needed help.  She was terrified, just wondering what might happened, but she had to do this.  She had to get the strength to get Cheyenne away from this monster.  She was not going to be able to do this without the Lord by her side. Thankfully she had her faith, she had the knowledge that she had the good Lord by her side, no matter what happened.

Jasmine headed toward where she heard Cheyenne breathing heavily, quietly.  She saw that somehow Lance had fallen asleep, it was the Lord intervening to help her she was sure of that.  The Lord wanted to make sure Jasmine and Cheyenne both got out of this situation, that Lance went to prison for life.  She needed to move now though, and had to stop thinking about all that could go wrong, because if she did not act now Cheyenne would be dead, and she would likely be too.

Lance was still sleeping despite the noise, but that did not stop Cheyenne from worrying that he would hear Jasmine.  That he would do something to both of them, her Father, this monster was pure evil and she knew that, but she also knew that God was stronger and she was more than grateful for that. 

Jasmine found herself moving faster and probably quieter than she had ever moved before, because right now this was a matter of life and death.  Not only her death, and Cheyenne’s death, but anyone that got in his way.  He was sleeping soundly though and Cheyenne prayed he would continue to sleep, until she got Cheyenne far away from him, until the cops came and arrested him and he went to prison where he belonged.  He belonged in prison locked in a cell, never to be let out again.  If anyone deserved solitary confinement he did, because he would be a danger to the guards the cops, anyone he perceived was against him.  Jasmine knew this from experience, after all look what he had done to Chenelle’s grandfather, to Chenelle and now to his own daughter, and God only knew how many others.

Jasmine grabbed Cheyenne and started running, not knowing where she was going, but knowing she had to get out of here. Having an eight year old child in her arms made running difficult but they had to get out of here, because if they didn’t they would surely die, die at the hands of this killer.

Lance had started stirring and then bolted awake, but it had been too late Cheyenne was gone, and he was more fatigued than he had ever been.  He had stuck himself with a needle that contained a sedative, that would make Cheyenne sleep, but the joke had been his, because now he was the one sleeping.  He tried to get up, but it was like his body wasn’t attached.  He cursed the air, but was stuck there until the sedative wore off.  The joke had been his, he had been clumsy and careless, and now the two people he wanted dead were running, but maybe these woods would kill them.  Maybe they would think of it as an accident, and he would be free to go, free to hunt down who he really wanted to hunt down and kill his parents.  He was not going to let his parents get away with what they had done, and he was not going to stop killing until he got to them.

The cops weren’t going to take him alive, or were they, he was so sleepy.  So very sleepy, he just wanted to close his eyes, and think about the pleasure he got from killing.  He did not want to think about the fact that they were on his trail, and he was unable to move.

He had accused others of being stupid, but how could he be so stupid to foil his own plan. If he had been more careful he wouldn’t have been fighting to stay awake, unable to even stand up.  Perhaps it was the God that his daughter, and his ex-wife worshipped that was doing it.  Perhaps this God wanted him to stop, but the thing was he didn’t want to stop.  He was determined not to stop until he got to his parents.  They deserved to die more than anyone else.  Perhaps if he had got to them first, he wouldn’t have taken all of these lives, but he kind of doubted that, he got too much of a pleasure out of killing others, out of watching a life being taken away from them, ebbing out of them slowly.  He didn’t know why it gave him a feeling of pleasure, but it did.  Something was wrong with that in the worlds eyes, but he did not care about what the world thought.

Lance had to get out of there, and he knew that.  They would surely take him down, and throw him in prison for life, if not kill him.  The truth be told he would rather be killed then go to prison for the rest of his life.  He did not like the idea of being locked away forever.

He couldn’t let them take him to prison.  He was not ready to spend his life locked behind bars, but first he had to rest.  Lance knew he should not sleep, but he could not fight sleep any longer.  Finally he gave in.

As he was sleeping Lance dreamed of being chased, being carried away, but maybe this was not a dream.  Maybe the cops had him, and were carrying him away.  Or someone.  Maybe the hunter was now being the hunted.

He tried to wake up, but Lance was having trouble opening his eyes, having trouble coming back to reality.  He could hear what was going on around him, but he could not react.  He felt totally helpless.  The way his victims had felt, but he wasn’t one of his victims, he should not be experiencing this.  They deserved it in his eyes, and he did not think he did.  Never mind that he had killed more people than even he was sure of.  He was a cold blooded serial killer in the world’s eyes.

Chenelle and Cheyenne’s God must be punishing him, if he wasn’t, they wouldn’t have gotten away, and went for help.  He should have killed Cheyenne right away instead of trying to prolong the pain, now she was free, but she wasn’t without pain, he had made sure of that.  And now he was glad he did, if she didn’t die, at least she would be hurting.  Lance had no idea what made him hate his daughter so much, he looked more like him than she did his ex-wife so it wasn’t that, but it was something, probably the fact that she would listen to her Mother over him.

Of course Chenelle did not kill others, and want her daughter to watch.  That kind of thing was not in Chenelle or Cheyenne. They were good to the bone, and perhaps that was why Lance hated them so much, but not more than he hated his parents. His parents had made him this way, the day he had watched his Father kill his puppy and then heard him laugh about it.  His Mother had done nothing, just stood by her husband.  Lance knew then that they did not care about him, never had.

Even in his state between sleep and wakefulness Lance could hear footsteps coming at him, he tried to wake up to reach for his gun.  He knew it was the cops that were after him and he was going to have to do something or be taken to prison, but he could not wake up, not fully, he could barely lift his arm let alone yield his weapon.  The cops would win this battle, but they could not hold him in prison forever, he knew that not even the prison walls would contain him. They may try to hold him in prison for life, but they were not going to be able to do that.  One way or another Lance would get out of prison, and he would go after his ex-wife, his daughter, and her stupid friend.  This time Jasmine would not foil his plan, and he would kill his daughter, and make Chenelle watch.  He would make sure he absolutely tortured her, because she deserved it for getting away, and Chenelle deserved to have to watch them.

Jasmine was running now, probably feeling good because she had gotten away, and now the cops were standing right in front of him, weapons drawn.  They understood how dangerous he was, but right now he was far from being dangerous.  He was exhausted, did not even have the energy to yield his weapon or argue.   He was just going to let them take him now, without a fight, but there would be a fight when they tried to keep him in prison longer than he wanted to stay.  He was going to do everything in his power to get out of prison and to find his parents wherever they were.

Lance did not even have the energy to be angry.  He just wanted to stop feeling so tired.  He just wanted to sleep, really sleep, sleep for days.  He really wasn’t paying much attention as they cuffed him and drug him to his feet.  The enemy had invaded his land, but at the very moment he did not care.  He just wanted to go to sleep, but right now he would be sleeping in a jail cell.

He had vowed never to be taken alive, but he had poked himself with that needle, full of drugs, he was lucky to be alive.  He had enough drugs in that needle to kill Cheyenne, but Cheyenne was only eight he was an adult, and he was not ready to die.  He had to get to his parents first, kill them.  They deserved to die, and he would not rest until they did.  He was going to make them pay for the way he treated them, and make them pay for all he had done to the others.

Perhaps if they had never killed his puppy he would not have killed so many.  He was his Fathers son though, and his Father was a monster, always had been.  He remembered some of the things his Father had done to him, the horrible beatings, and it made him angry.  It made him hate his Mother too, because she had been too afraid to do anything.  The truth was she didn’t really care about him, neither one of his parents did, and he knew that.  He wasn’t really a wanted child, and now he was going to make them experience misery, the way they had made him miserable growing up.

They had a good front, so no one really knew of the abuse, and he never talked about it, but he was sure some people suspected, back then though children did not have the rights they had now.  Even if they had, Lance never spoke about it, because he knew what would happen if he did.  He just had to endure his Father and Mother, but now one way or another he was going to get revenge.

The fact was they had created a killer, and Lance was sure by now they knew it.  All the mysterious death lately, they had been him.  Over a hundred lives taken, so what was a few more.  He was going to kill his ex-wife, her best friend and his daughter, because in his eyes they deserved to die, but the cops had him now.  His plan would have to be postponed, but he was going to get free and he was going to take care of business.  Perhaps after he was done with all of that, he would take his own life.  He kind of doubted that though, he valued his own life to much to do that, it was the other lives he didn’t care about, not even his own daughters life.

Yes his parents had created a monster, and they were about to realize that.  He was going to show them his true colors, if they didn’t already know when he killed them, they would certainly know, because he would make sure that he told them the reason he was doing this.  If they had raised him right maybe he wouldn’t have had the need to kill others to feel satisfaction.  He was going to make sure that he showed them just why he was doing this. They deserved to feel guilty and they deserved to die.

He knew his parents were out there alive, hiding from him, because they had been afraid of him, and rightly so.  They had reason to fear.  He wanted them dead, that was certainly reason to fear.  They deserved to fear, and deserved to die.  Death in itself was to easy, they deserved so much more than that.  These people deserve to suffer, they had put them through this, and they were going to have to suffer, because they had made him suffer.  No one should went through what he went through as a child, but he was making others suffer.  People the world thought was innocent.

Maybe killing Cheyenne would be good for her, she wouldn’t have to live through a world that was crazy.  They said he was crazy, but they were the ones crazy. They were the ones who brought children into a world gone mad, most of the people he had killed had been Mothers or Fathers, but Cheyenne would be the first time he had killed a child.  He was going to kill his only daughter, something wasn’t right about that, but he had to do it.  He had to kill her.  He didn’t know why he had to just that he did.

Perhaps the shrinks were right, he was a crazy monster.  No of course they didn’t say it in that many words, but he knew what they meant.



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