We fought that morning, over something pety, I don’t even remember what, but we fought.
” God why did it have to be like that? ”
I remember him storming out of the house, something about being late for a buissiness meeting, kissing the kids, who were both laying on the floor watching Seaseme street, telling them you loved them, promising them you’d read to them that night.
We didn’t even kiss each other that morning, didn’t even say goodbye. We never got so mad we didn’t say goodbye. We always made up, why not that day?
I dropped the twins off at their Granny’s and went to the library. I needed time to myself, time to think, time to write, time to read. Oprah’s book club had a good selection that summer, and I hadn’t read it, maybe I would see if they had it in.
First I’d sit down at one of the round medal legged tables and write. I’d write Gary, and tell him I was sorry we got in argument, later when I got home I’d copy it on to lavender scented stationary and place it on his pillow, he’d read it while we were laying there. Jessica and Jimmie would probably come and crawl in between us, claiming there were monsters in their closet. Gary would fly them into there room, one at a time. lifting the child over his head, telling them to lay their arms and legs out straight. I’d smile as they gigled all the way into their room.
” Daddy could you check the closet for monsters?” Jimmie would ask in that sweet way of hers.
Gary would go through the closet until the girls were satsified there were no monsters in there, then they would smile that of their’s that could melt the hardest of hearts and say: ” Daddy we love you, you’re the bestest Daddy in the whole wide world. ”
” And Mommy’s the Bestest Mommy.” One of the girls would add.
Gary that night wasn’t like that though. It was the nightmare that never ended.
” The Towers have been hit, two planes have flied in to them. ” Someone cried. Men, Children, Women, women carrying little children, running for there lifes.
” Oh God where’s Gary? ”
I held on to hope until the Sun began to set that night. I remembered we had once vowed never to let the sun set on our anger. It was a promise we had kept until that day.
” Oh God I hope he knew I loved him, loved him from the very depth of my soul. ”
I didn’t go back to that house until late that night, knowing that when I did I would feel, hear, and smell Gary everywhere in the house, but I had to go back, something told me I had too.
When I saw the flickering red light on the answering machine, I knew who it was , before I even played the tape.
” I love you vicki, I love you more than you know, if I don’t get out of here I want you to know I died thanking God for you. ”
Oh Lord how am I going to explain to the girl’s their only four? How do I tell them there Daddy’s gone to Heaven, in a way they can understand.
Michelle Renee Kidwell
I’ve written about the 9/11 events before but never in the point of view of the wife of a victim. This is fictional, but the event was all to real!