Caught In the Lie (Fiction)

They didn’t know what to do…

Their daughter was pulling farther and farther away from them.

Each moment that passed they were loosing more of her.

They heard of occults, but never imagined their daughter would get wrapped up in one.

Cassandra had been raised in church, Micheal and Jamie were sure their daughter had a good head on her shoulders, but somehow she’d slipped away from them.

Lord open Cassandra’s eyes to this man’s evils.  They echoed that prayer all the time, and believed that one day there daughter would see the evil in this mans teaching.

He called himself Matt Mathews, but to them he was the enemy, sucking the very life, the very soul out of their daughter.

She had talked to them at first, told them how happy she was, but even then they were suspicious, how could someone saying they were so happy act so down.

Cassandra told them she had gone to find the God within herself.

A lie straight from hell.

Cassandra remember what we taught you, remember the Lord’s words.  You have to open your eyes daughter, you have to open them to see the evil in this man Matt Matthews, if that’s really his name. 

They couldn’t even be sure of his real name.

All they were sure of was this man was the very embodiment of evil…
He had mesmerized her, charmed her into believing the lies of Matt Matthews Teachings.

Cassandra had learned in Sunday School, and Church that there was only one true God, the God who sent his only son to die for us.

What had made her believe Matt Matthews?

Was it that she was searching for something more, when she already had what she needed.

Jamie had remembered the times she had talked to her daughter just after she had found out about Matt Matthews, all she had told her little girl, how she had tried but failed to convinced her little girl to get out before she got in to deep.

Pictures of what happened in Wacco had flooded through Jamie’s mind a thousand times over, and they flooded through Micheal’s mind.

All they wanted was there daughter whole and complete.

Now they didn’t have their daughter at all.

Matt Matthews and his Find The God Within yourself group had taken off.

Each day they prayed for their daughter, hoping for anything, a letter, anything, but no she had been to wrapped into the lies to even write to them to tell them goodbye.  She had truly believed Matt Matthews would help her find the God within herself.

Lord when is Cassandra going to open her eyes to these lies, and is it to late Lord.  She was raised in a good Christian home what made her want to get wrapped up in something like this?

That was something Jamie or Michael could never understand on their own.  After doing some digging they had discovered their had been thousands of girls like Cassandra being lured away by this mans lies.

What did he do to these girl?

Jamie and Micheal felt sick at all the possiblities that flowed through their heads as that question crossed their mind.

Lord where is Cassandra.

They had echoed this prayer for months since their daughter had got involved in Matt Matthews Occult.

That’s exactly what Matt Matthews was, an Occult later, there was no sugar coating it.

Each night as Jamie and Micheal lay in bed, thoughts of what could be happening to Cassandra played through their head.

Many nights they found themselves dropping to their knee’s beside their bed praying for their daughter, their little girl.

Not to long ago, Cassandra had knelt beside their bed with them and prayed.  They missed those days more than words could say.

Lord get us through this, give us our daughter back, and help us to get through us.

Jamie spent many days and nights trying to find out where Matt and his occult members might be, they needed to find out soon.  If it wasn’t already to late.

Give me strength Lord.  Jamie prayed, I need the strength to get through this, and help me to find out where my daughter is.

As Jamie was praying the phone rang.

Maybe it was Cassandra…She could only pray.

I began writhing this in March of 2005 and plan on actually finishing it someday but other writings that are published required my attention

Copyright Michelle R Kidwell

An Enduring Love (Fiction)

 I began writing this in Feb of 2007….

It began with a letter, a letter from a decade ago. 

She looked in the Bible, the Bible her grandmother had given her when she was a little girl, and got the letter out.  She recognized his handwriting immediately.  She would never forget it, she would never have to, he was sleeping in there room after pulling a double shift at the hospital.  He was the best doctor in the world in her opinion and she was married to him.  He had saved her life when all had given up hope.  He continued to save it every time she looked at him.

Karin had heard others ask her if she thought that Gavin worked to much, if she felt he was married to the job, and she could honestly say no.  She admired what he did, the way he saved lives, he was truly a hero in her eyes.

“He saved my life.” She would tell whoever asked her.  “How could I tell him to stop saving other lives?”

Despite his long hours, she knew he loved her, and that she was second in his life only to God, God must always come first, and she knew that, that was what made it work for them.  Despite his hectic work schedule he made it to church on Sundays, and showed up for Bible studies when he was not saving lives.

Karin loved being married to Gavin, and in several weeks she would be bringing a baby into the world.  It was a little girl, she was going to name her Ruth, like from the Old Testament, Ruth was a good person, and her daughter, their daughter would be to.  Karin and Gavin would have a beautiful child.

They’d been trying for eight years, they started trying a year after they were married, two years after she got her first letter from Gavin.

She opened her Bible where the letter was safely tucked in her Bible, she took it out often, thinking about the feelings of love then, feelings that remained ten years later…

This morning Gavin surprised me with another love letter, and Roses, tomorrow is Valentines Day, and he is always doing little romantic things like that around Valentines Day.  He has asked another doctor to fill in for him tomorrow, so Valentines Day is ours together.  I wonder what he has planned for me, but whatever it is I know I will love it.

Gavin is working now, he had a surgery on a little girl this afternoon.  She was in a pretty bad car accident, and they are trying to save her leg, if anyone can do it I know Gavin can.

Last night Gavin and I spent some time talking together.  Making plans for the little girl we are going to bring into the world, thanks to the Lord, our precious little Ruth, who will be here with us in a matter of weeks, I can feel her kicking up a storm now, she is going to kick her way out of the womb if she keeps this up.  Maybe Ruth will be a soccer player.  I played soccer as a child, that seems like a lifetime ago though, before the accident that nearly took my life, and the accident that led me to Gavin.  I never dreamed that I would be thanking God for that accident, but I am because I have Gavin now, the love of my life.

I will continue my story later, but now I need to go have something to eat, I havent eaten since this morning, and I have to make sure to feed myself and my precious little girl.

Gavin is home from work today, as I said he had a doctor fill in for him.  It’s wonderful having him here for me.  Right now he is in the shower, getting ready for us to go out.  I am thankful that we have this time together.  I know my husband is a busy man, and he’s saving lives.  He saved mine, and is my hero, the Lord brought him to me through horrible circumstances, but this man saved me and we fell in love, so depsite what happened I thank God daily for bringing me Gavin.I

The baby kept me up half the night kicking up a storm.  She is quite a kicker, even Gavin agrees he put his hand on my belly feeling our child kick.  After eight years of trying we are having a beautiful baby, and we are so blessed.  In a few weeks we will be welcoming this precious angel into our lives.

Well I don’t hear the water running anymore, so Gavin must be out of the shower and getting ready to go, now it’s my turn to get my shower, so we can leave for a nice Romantic Valentines Day together.  He has already given me Roses, a Teddy Bear, and of course the love letter he gave me yesterday.  I am so blessed.

Copyright Michelle R Kidwell


Book Review: How to Write A Novel

How to Write a Novel

by Melanie Sumner

Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group


Literature/Fiction (Adult)

Pub Date Aug 4, 2015 

This is the humorous story of twelve and a half year old Aris, who was given a book entitled How to Write A Novel in thirty days and  set out to write the next great American Novel, to help her family get out of poverty after the death of her Father.

She uses her own dysfunctional family as inspiration for her novel.

Aris soon finds out writing a novel in thirty days is not as easy as it may sound making for a humorous tale of a young girl’s dysfunctionl family.

I give this novel Four out of five stars.

Happy Reading….


Book Review: Judas the Apostle

Judas the Apostle

by Van R. Mayhall Jr.



ChristianMystery & Thrillers

Pub Date Sep 2, 2013 

Doctor Clotile Lejeune is an ancient language expert quietly living her life in Seattle, when she finds out her Father has been murdered.  Soon Dr Cloe finds herself thrust into danger.  Cloe finds out her Father was killed by a professional killer and thief. 

Could her Father’s murdered be tied to an Ancient Jar that may be linked to Judas Isacriot, and could that jar hold an ancient gospel?   Will Cloe get to the botto of her Father’s murder or is she simply putting herself in harms way.

Judas, the Apostle has Intrigue, Mystery and history.

I give this book Five out of Five Stars….

Happyy Reading


My Prayer For You (Second Version)

I know sometimes

That we have trouble

Understanding somethings

That when a loved one dies

We are hurting inside

And we often question why

But rest assured

The Lord knows everything

And he has a reason behind what

He does,

Now we may not understand

The reason,

But if we give our troubles

To the Lord

He will understand…

Copyright Michelle R Kidwell



Sister of My Heart (Rewritten and Revised)

A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:23 

The Lord brought Melissa into my life in his perfect timing, and in a way I never expected to meet the Sister of My Heart, which is what we started calling each other shortly after our friendship began. She was the one I could turn to no matter what, the friend who in a matter ofdays made me feel as if we had known each other our whole lives. I know that was the Lord’s doings too. Sometimes he brings people into our lives that feel as if they have been part of our lives for years even if in reality we had known them for a short time. 

Melissa was an answer to a prayer I had been uttering for a long time, the prayer was for asister, someone I could share my joys and sorrows with, I have a brother and cousins, but there are some things better shared between two females. We were sisters even if the same bloodlines did not flow through our veins. We shared one blood tie though, one that we would often find ourselves clinging to when the times are tough and you feel as if the world is crumbling around you, the blood we shared was the blood of Christ. 

I can’t count the times I cried out to the Lord, and the Lord heard my prayers, especially when it was concerning Melissa, I knew her health was unstable and she often ended up in the hospital, but with all the close calls, and all the ” Dear God not again’s.” She managed to pull through, with the Lord’s help of course. 

The Lord had sent Melissa to me too, to help me through difficult times, I lost my Aunt Linda only a few months after meeting Melissa in that chat room for the disabled, and she was there to comfort me, to reassure me that everything would be okay, that Aunt Linda was in a better place. That is the first time I remember breaking down, letting my emotions show, I was sobbing on the phone, and although it was late and she could not be there in person, she was there for me in the ways that counted. 

A few months later found another friend her one and a half year old son on a greyhound bus, traveling half way across the country to meet the ” Sister of My Heart.” This would be my first real adventure, and the trip itself would be an answer to prayer. I had been praying that the Lord would give me an opportunity to get to know Melissa, and her young son. It also showed me that there was some things I needed to do on my own, and this trip was probably one of those things because bringing my other friend along appeared not to be a good idea. Despite all that I cherished those moments with Melissa, and enjoyed watching our friendship grow even stronger. She made me feel like family despite the trouble with my other friend. 

The greyhound trip did have it’s toll on my already weak body, and I ended up sick and in bed for three weeks when I returned home, but I got to meet Melissa, and I was grateful for that, and I was grateful we had made it safely home. We left for home on September.12 a year and a day after the attacks on America, and to say the least I was apprehensive. The Lord had answered a prayer in that area too, we got home safe and in one piece. I thank God for that. 

The trip was a good idea despite the troubles. I enjoyed the time I spent with Melissa, amazed at her determination, the way she refused to let her disability get the best of her. She was certainly an inspiration, and the uplift I needed. She also introduced me to new foods, boiled peanuts, and banana and mayonnaise sandwiches. Boiled peanuts I learned to love, banana and mayo sandwiches I could barely tolerate. New foods were not what made the visit such a blessing though, it was being near to the Sister of my Heart, her son and her fiance. I truly felt like I belonged, like I was a member of this family. I still look back to those days not so long ago and smile at many of the memories. 

I took pictures while I was visiting Melissa, pictures that I still love to look at today, but I could not take pictures of every moment. I did not get a picture of me losing Monopoly, or Melissa rocking my friends son to sleep the first night we were there and falling asleep herself. I smile remembering the image of her and the little boy in the rocking chair. I am comforted by that memory, comforted by the memories that were built in a three week period of time. 

Being able to take the trip in itself was a blessing in itself, because the month before I had lost my Uncle, who at the time was not yet forty two. I had talked to him the day before he died, and that same month Melissa had been in the hospital, but the Lord had made it where we could go and visit each other and she had stayed out of the hospital for our visit. That was another worry I was afraid that our visit would somehow make Melissa sick again, and I didn’t want that, it tore me up every time I heard that the ” Sister of My Heart” was in the hospital. I hate seeing others suffer especially when it’s those I care about. 

The Lord had brought Melissa into my life, in his perfect timing, and in doing so he had answered the prayer I had long ago prayed. ” Dear Lord bring me a sister, someone I could share my joys and sorrows with, someone I could talk to, in a way that I can not talk to my brother or even my Mother. Lord bring someone into my life who can help me through the hard times.” 

In meeting Melissa the Lord always showed me that I didn’t need to be so shy that the Lord wanted me to see that my voice did matter, and that I didn’t always need to be so silent, but he also showed me there was a time to talk and a time to listen. My friendship with Melissa has showed me when to talk and when to listen, and has showed me that I need to let his love shine through me, and in doing that I can offer the kind of friendships I have been blessed with. I can be the Sister of Heart to Melissa that she has been to me. 

Copyright Michelle R Kidwell 


The Last Time I Saw Myron (Fiction)

I made it to my first writers group today and one of our assignments was to write a story title The Last Time I Saw Myron, this is my attempt…Hope you enjoy it…



It was raining hard that Friday night, a steady pounding rain, unusual for California in May. The sunshine state what a joke. The steady pounding of the rain wanted to lull me to sleep, but I knew I could not fall asleep, I had not heard from Myron since last night

and it was fast approaching eight p.m the following day, well passed the time he normally called.

As I waited for the phone to ring, I went over what yesterday had been like with me and Myron, I remembered the dance and how it felt to be melted in his arms, the more I thought about it, the harder I willed the phone to ring.

Myron and I fell in love, despite the fact that as children we believed we never would. He had been my friend, my best friend for as long as I could remember, but as a child I didn’t believe I would ever fall in love with Myron. Best friends just don’t fall in love with each other, I was foolish enough to believe, ignoring the fact that my best friend was male and I was of course female. Needless to say Myron and I are in love.

The phone finally rang, and I prayed as I had all day long, that it would be Myron. I wanted to hear his familiar voice telling me he loved me over and over again.

” Marsha it’s Bryanna, Myron’s Mom, there’s been an accident. You need to go to Saint Luke’s as soon as possible. Myron’s fading fast but he wants to see you before he lets go. ”

Bryanna’s words were hard to understand through the tears but I managed to understand them. I was just to Paralyzed to even cry.

” I’ll be there as soon as I can. ” I mumbled.

I slowly walked down the corridors at Saint Luke’s and made my way to the ICU where Bryanna had told me Myron was, completely unprepared for what I was about to see. Myron was a tower of strength in my mind, I prayed he was to strong to die, but when I saw him laying on that hospital bed, hooked up to all those machines, looking so fragile, reality hit me and hit me hard. I suddenly realized how fragile the tie that bound us from life to death was.

I took Myron’s weak and scarred hand in mine, and told him I was there, I felt a light squeeze as if to say I know.

” If you have to go it’s okay Myron, just save a place for me in Heaven. ” I spoke the hardest words I had ever spoken.

That was the last time I saw Myron.

Copyright Michelle R Kidwell


Farewell Sister Of My Heart

Dear Melissa:

It is hard to believe that you are gone, I mean really gone.  You were such a strong woman, but your pain was great, and the Lord saw it was your time to come home.  You suffered so much, we know that, and now you are free of pain, but still we grieve for you, we grieve from the very depths of our souls.

Cody will grow up without a Mother, and I know that hurts him, but you will be watching him from Heaven, guiding him, and I know he carries you with him in many ways.

Mimmi I will miss dancing the Makerana with you, spending three hours talking on the phone, taking a bus across country just to spend time with you and Cody and Dale, as well as your Mom, you treated me like family, and really that was what we were.  We use to say we were sisters with different Mothers and earthly fathers, but we were both Christians, we both had the same Heavenly Father.

I know you are with him now my friend, your body once again whole, you don’t have to worry about prosthetic legs, or failling Kidneys, but that is not how you died, you died of a massive stroke.  When they tested you had no brain activity, and Dale knew that was not how you wanted to live, he and your parents made the hardest decision of there life, they had to pull the plug, we all know that was what you wanted, you did not want to live in a vegative state, and I really could not blame you, I wouldn’t either.

You died on the ninth of February, but I found out today, something told me to pick up the phone and call, I expected to hear from you, and instead I heard the devestating news you were gone, but in spirit you are with us.

Dale was telling me how much I meant to you, and you meant the world to me too, we had a bond that was deeper than friendship, for all purposes you were the sister I never had, sometimes people even said we looked alike I took that as a compliment.

You were never one to dwell on the negative things that happened in your life, sure we spent time crying together, but you were so full of life, so full of love that you could not sit around feeling sorry for yourself, you cherished each day you had, and from you I learned to do the same.

I am not going to say good bye because that is so permanet, when my time on this earth is over, I know I will meet you again in Heaven, and together, we will gather around the Lord’s feet, and our pains, our aches, will all be gone.

In the meantime I am keeping in touch with your family, Dale, your Mom, Step Dad, and Cody, becuase I know that is what you would want.

Farewell bestest friend

You are missed!

In Memory of Melissa Williams





The Bully (Fiction)



“Hey new girl, you know they use to lock up people like you.”  One boy shouted.

I was not going to cry, kids had taunted me before, acted as if being around because I wore braces with ugly brown straps and used a red walker to get around, I was born with a conditon that made it hard for me to get around.  It was something I couldn’t help and I hated being treated as if I had some kind of curse or something.

I wondered how after seven years of school kids could still be so ignorant, and I wondered how anyone could be as cruel as that boy who yelled out those cruel words, but I also knew that in  a way I spoke the truth, in the old days I may be considered a throw back.

“I have a name” I told the boy once again finding my voice, remembering what Mom had said earlier that morning about being more ascertive, she always told me I needed to believe in myself and others would believe in me.  I did not want to go through life letting people walk all over me it was a good lesson to learn early on, of when I was older.

“Wow she can talk.” The boy said smirking.

“I am no idiot.” I managed trying not to hate the boy who seemed to get thills out of picking on others.  “A real bully.” Mom would say.

Finally the boy shut up, maybe what I was saying got to him or maybe he was not use to people standing up to him,sticking up for themselves the way I had.  He was proabably use to people letting him walk all over them.  I may have been new to Pinelake middle school but I had seen bullies like him before, and Mom had always told me not to let the bullies get the best of me.

“Hanna don’t let anyone sell you short.” Mom reminded me often.  “Your a strong girl, your legs don’t change that.”

I was once again glad I had listened to Mom, she spoke wisely and spoke out of love.  She and I had a very close relationship and eventhough I was upset with the fact she had moved us in the middle of my Seventh Grade year.

I tried not to complain to much about the move, because I knew it would not change anything and I really didn’t want to hurt Mom.  I tried to remind  that Mom was doing  the best for me, even if at the moment I was confronting the school bully I didn’t feel like it.

I was going to make the best out of the situation though even if it meant having to confront bullies.  I was not going to let anyone walk all over me.  It may not always be easy, but I was going to stand up for myself no matter what.  Mom had instilled that in me long before I even entered school.

“You have to be able to stand up for yourself Hanna.” Mom reminded me often.

“I know.” I said,a nd the truth was I did know.  Mom spoke the truth, and I was thankful she did so.  She would not allow me to feel sorry for myself and that was to my advantage.

“Why aren’t you afraid of me?” The boy asked.

“Because you don’t scare me.” I said leaning heavily against my red walker.  I was surpirsed to realize my words were true , I was not afraid of the bully, in fact the boy seemed a little sad to me, maybe he acted this way because he was lonesome.  If he had friends he may not always have the need to pick on those who perceived as weaker than himself and that seemed to be everyone in seventh grade at Pine Lake Middle School.

The boy didn’t say anything for a time, it was as if the fact that I was afraid of him left him speechless, he was obviously not use to being confronted the way I had confronted him.  He was more use to kids cowering around him and I was not about to do that.  I had taken the lesson Mom had instilled in me to heart. I was not going to be walked on.

“My name’s Jack new kid, what’s your’s?” The bully asked

“My names Hanna not new kid.” I responded.

“You are different than the other kids.” Jack said.

“I was born twith Cerebral Palsy, that’s why I use the walker and the leg braces.” I explained.  I discovered long ago that it was better to just explain what my problem was, and if the listener was smart they would realize they couldn’t “catch” anything from me.

“I mean you are braver than most of the kids, they go the other way when they see me.”

“Mom always taught me to confront the bullies.” I explained simply.

“I’m use to people being scared of me.” Jack expalained.

“Is that what you really want people to be afraid of you?” I asked, sensing that was not what he wanted.

“No.” Jack admitted.

“What do you want?”


“Well from now on you can consider me a friend, but if you want to make more friends and keep them you have to stop bullying everyone.” I told Jack.

“Thanks.” Jack said,  I had given him what he needed most friendship.

Copyright May.01.2007


Kevin’s Last Call (Fiction)

He wasn’t supposed to be called in that day, but when he became a firefighter he knew there were really no guarrantees on what days he would get off. His Daughter Isabella was turning ten and he wanted to be with her, he wanted to help her cut the cake and blow out the candles, in three years she would be a teenager, and she may not want to be around her Daddy as much.

The fire was believed to be arson, Kevin had experience with arson fires, but this one came at him fast. He did not know if they were going to put this fire out, but they had to try, suddenly he heard the cry of a child in the complex, and went in, wearing over a hundred pounds of gear, but when he had heard that childs cry, he knew he had to go in, he kept picturing Isabella and if his place was on fire, he would want someone to do the same for Isabella.

The stairs on the inside were begining to crumble, but the childs cry were still coming, quieter but he could hear them. He prayed the child was staying low, that was the best way he could get to the crying child.

The trip seemed to take forever, but he caught the child, and one of his fellow firemen, grabbed the child, while Kevin tried to make his way out the door, but just as he heard the child and his buddy got out with the child who must have been four or five, but Kevin had no time to think of that, the fire was starting to consume him, and he knew there was no way he was going to get out alive.

Lord please keep my family safe, he said, and then he was gone.

Copyright Michelle R Kidwell