I’ve Walked the Fire

I’ve walked the fire

Felt the flames

Dealt with the battle

It’s been at my door

People have tried to

Throw hurtful words

Stronger than any swords

But I will stand up

And fight this battle

I have a right to

Fight for what I believe

And Fight I will.

Copyright Michelle R Kidwell


8:56 P.M PST

He Puts A Song In My Heart

He put a song in my heart

Amy Grant’s El Shedai

He put a song in my heart

Singing the praises

Of Christ my Savior.

He put a song in my heart

And because of that

I feel his Amazing Grace

And for that today

I still sing his praises.

Copyright Michelle R Kidwell


1:58 P.M PST

Authors Note: In 2005 the Lord answered one of my prayers, my dream of meeting Amy Grant came true , I also got to meet Vince Gill, I will never forget that day, and the memories that day brought.  He continues to answer my prayers in both big ways and little…

Psalm 149:1-3

1 Praise the LORD. [a]
Sing to the LORD a new song,
his praise in the assembly of the saints.

 2 Let Israel rejoice in their Maker;
let the people of Zion be glad in their King.
3 Let them praise his name with dancing
and make music to him with tambourine and harp.

The Signs Are Here the time Is Near

It is true we know
Not the time or day
But the good book
Also says
The signs will show
Us when the hour draws
And one of those signs
Is the war we are experiencing now
Israel is at war
With Hezzabolah
A terrorist organziation
And there are other wars to
Even quiet one’s fought in our
Own land
The battle to simply pray
Or believe
America was once sought out as
As the land of Religious freedom
Yet under liberal law
We are being punished simply
For believing
Another sign of the times
I believe
The sings are here
And the time is near
So keep your heart on what
Really matters
The Lord above
He will guide us
To what’s real and true .

Copyright Michelle R Kidwell

Author’s Comments:
“Revelation 6 The Seals 1I watched as the Lamb opened the first of the seven seals. Then I heard one of the four living creatures say in a voice like thunder, “Come!” 2I looked, and there before me was a white horse! Its rider held a bow, and he was given a crown, and he rode out as a conqueror bent on conquest. 3When the Lamb opened the second seal, I heard the second living creature say, “Come!” 4Then another horse came out, a fiery red one. Its rider was given power to take peace from the earth and to make men slay each other. To him was given a large sword. 5When the Lamb opened the third seal, I heard the third living creature say, “Come!” I looked, and there before me was a black horse! Its rider was holding a pair of scales in his hand. 6Then I heard what sounded like a voice among the four living creatures, saying, “A quart[a] of wheat for a day’s wages,[b] and three quarts of barley for a day’s wages,[c] and do not damage the oil and the wine!” 7When the Lamb opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth living creature say, “Come!” 8I looked, and there before me was a pale horse! Its rider was named Death, and Hades was following close behind him. They were given power over a fourth of the earth to kill by sword, famine and plague, and by the wild beasts of the earth. 9When he opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of those who had been slain because of the word of God and the testimony they had maintained. 10They called out in a loud voice, “How long, Sovereign Lord, holy and true , until you judge the inhabitants of the earth and avenge our blood?” 11Then each of them was given a white robe, and they were told to wait a little longer, until the number of their fellow servants and brothers who were to be killed as they had been was completed. 12I watched as he opened the sixth seal. There was a great earthquake. The sun turned black like sackcloth made of goat hair, the whole moon turned blood red, 13and the stars in the sky fell to earth, as late figs drop from a fig tree when shaken by a strong wind. 14The sky receded like a scroll, rolling up, and every mountain and island was removed from its place. 15Then the kings of the earth, the princes, the generals, the rich, the mighty, and every slave and every free man hid in caves and among the rocks of the mountains. 16They called to the mountains and the rocks, “Fall on us and hide us from the face of him who sits on the throne and from the wrath of the Lamb! 17For the great day of their wrath has come, and who can stand?” Revelation 7 144,000 Sealed 1After this I saw four angels standing at the four corners of the earth, holding back the four winds of the earth to prevent any wind from blowing on the land or on the sea or on any tree. 2Then I saw another angel coming up from the east, having the seal of the living God. He called out in a loud voice to the four angels who had been given power to harm the land and the sea: 3″Do not harm the land or the sea or the trees until we put a seal on the foreheads of the servants of our God.” 4Then I heard the number of those who were sealed: 144,000 from all the tribes of Israel. 5From the tribe of Judah 12,000 were sealed, from the tribe of Reuben 12,000, from the tribe of Gad 12,000, 6from the tribe of Asher 12,000, from the tribe of Naphtali 12,000, from the tribe of Manasseh 12,000, 7from the tribe of Simeon 12,000, from the tribe of Levi 12,000, from the tribe of Issachar 12,000, 8from the tribe of Zebulun 12,000, from the tribe of Joseph 12,000, from the tribe of Benjamin 12,000. The Great Multitude in White Robes 9After this I looked and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and in front of the Lamb. They were wearing white robes and were holding palm branches in their hands. 10And they cried out in a loud voice: “Salvation belongs to our God, who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb.” 11All the angels were standing around the throne and around the elders and the four living creatures. They fell down on their faces before the throne and worshiped God, 12saying: “Amen! Praise and glory and wisdom and thanks and honor and power and strength be to our God for ever and ever. Amen!” 13Then one of the elders asked me, “These in white robes—who are they, and where did they come from?” 14I answered, “Sir, you know.” And he said, “These are they who have come out of the great tribulation; they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb. 15Therefore, “they are before the throne of God and serve him day and night in his temple; and he who sits on the throne will spread his tent over them. 16Never again will they hunger; never again will they thirst. The sun will not beat upon them, nor any scorching heat. 17For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; he will lead them to springs of living water. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.” ”

Lord Hear Our Prayers (For Karla)

Lord hear our


A friend is hurting

And we hurt with her

The pain is real

As are the tears.

Lord hear our


You have the power to heal

And this is my healing prayer

For a deal friend

Touch her body and
Spirit Lord

As only you can.

Lord hear our prayer

Touch our friend

Make her well.

Copyright Michelle R Kidwell




2:50 A.M PST


Authors Note: Please join me in praying for Karla, may the Lord’s healing hand make her well…God Bless



He Never Changes

Photography by Michelle R Kidwell 😀

For the one who never changes Christ my Savior…

Scriptural ReferenceHebrews 13:8

Our directions may change
The world may be turned upside down
And back again
But one thing we can count on
Is that Christ will
Always remain the same
He will always be the Savior
Whose blood washed away my sins
When I gave my heart to him
That April of 96
When I was a young girl
Barely past eighteen
On the verge of womanhood
And yet still a teen
It was my senior year
And the Lord drew me to him
I have changed and grown
Even sinned a time or two
But I can rest assured
Christ is the same
Yesterday, today
And forever.

Copyright Michelle R Kidwell
11:46 P.M PST

You Never Know

To the greatest encourager…Jesus…

You never know
What a smile can do
To a hurting stranger
So smile more often
It’s what Jesus would do.

You never know
What a chatty letter
Or a poem would do for a friend
So write one
The Lord will bless you
And you know Jesus would do it too.

You never know
What a kind word of encouragement
Can do for someone down
So speak it
And you will see people slowly

Copyright Michelle R Kidwell
10:40 P.M PST

Little Hugs From Above

I have the kind of wealth even a bad economy can’t take the riches of God’s Love

As I sit here listening to Amy Grant, singing of the wonderful works of the Lord, I find myself reflecting on the many blessings in my life, and remembering those unexpected hugs. The first time I got off the Greyhound bus to stand face to face with my sister in the heart Melissa who has since been called home to the Lord, and I saw her precious little boy, I felt the hug from the Lord, even as I spent those last moments with Nonna, reading to the twenty third psalm I felt the gentleness of his hug, the first time I held Mikey, Ethan and Amber in my arms I felt those moments, and more recently with Autumeve. I remember so many answered prayers, even when Melissa was called home to the Lord at the age of thirty six, leaving her Son we could find peace in knowing that she was a believer, I can not count the times she told me that she could get through whatever came her way with the Lord. The first time I stood face to face with her was only months after she had faced having her leg amputated, and instead of being bitter about it, she was strong, and she used it draw her to the Lord!

Several years ago I got an unexpected hug from the Lord, and was blessed to meet Amy Grant and Vince Gill when they came to Sonora for a taping of there NBC show Three Wishes, it was a wonderful show, that sadly is not on air anymore, but that day I received one of my wishes, and that was to meet the singer whose CD and Tapes I had been wearing out for years. The Singer who helped me grow in faith, whose music so often played on my CD player.

I was honored to meet such a kind loving person, who so obviously had a heart for helping. It touched my heart to have the opportunity to meet her, to appreciate the fact that she was doing the Lord’s work.

I find that often some of the greatest hugs I get from God, come from his little children. When I go to church and Leliani nearly plows me down, saying, you know I just love to give you hugs! Then grabs the camera, when Ethan asks if he can come over and play with the puppies, when Mikey goes into Details of how they found the art on Mount Arafat, in two pieces, and I wonder to myself what happened to the baby that I used to hold in my arms. When Amber looks at me and says you know Auntie, sometimes I wish you were my Mom, because you teach me about Jesus, I feel that I have got the greatest hugs from the Lord, and I find myself smiling.



Amber, Auntie and Kianna

I love those little hugs from God, the unexpected email, finding out my novel is going to be published, hearing from a frined I haven’t heard from in awhile. Turning on a Amy Grant CD, when I have the kids over, and doing dances of praises, it all makes the dark times a little brighter, and it shows some of the greatest gifts you can’t buy no matter the state of economy.

God Bless

Copyright Michelle R Kidwell


A Matter of Contradictions

A Hand Full of Stars
see related

A Matter of Contradictions

I am a contradiction, but I have come to the conclusion that in some ways the Lord loves contradiction.  I am a writer, but I also happen to have Dyslexia and Dyscula, another words letters and numbers can be read or written back words, I was diagnosed at the age of six or seven the first time with this learning disability and again in college, but it is funny because for as long as I can remember I have been a reader, my Nonna never took no I can’t do that for an answer and neither did my Mom or Dad, so I grew up with a love for books and began reading at the age of three and a half not a bad feat for a child who did not walk until she was two and a half and who had/has dyslexia.

Dyslexia is a learning disability that makes itself manifest primarily as a difficulty with reading and spelling. It is separate and distinct from reading difficulties resulting from other causes, such as a non-neurological deficiency with vision or hearing, or from poor or inadequate reading instruction.[1] This suggests that dyslexia results from differences in how the brain processes written and spoken language.

Dyscalculia was originally identified in case studies of patients who suffered specific arithmetic disabilities as a result of damage to specific regions of the brain. Recent research suggests that dyscalculia can also occur developmentally, as a genetically-linked learning disability which affects a person’s ability to understand, remember, or manipulate numbers or number facts (e.g., the multiplication tables). The term is often used to refer specifically to the inability to perform arithmetic operations, but it is also defined by some educational professionals and cognitive psychologists as a more fundamental inability to conceptualize numbers as abstract concepts of comparative quantities (a deficit in “number sense”).[1] Those who argue for this more constrained definition of dyscalculia sometimes prefer to use the technical term Arithmetic Difficulties (AD) to refer to calculation and number memory deficits.

Dyscalculia is a lesser known disability, similar and potentially related to dyslexia and developmental dyspraxia. Dyscalculia occurs in people across the whole IQ range, and sufferers often, but not always, also have difficulties with time, measurement, and spatial reasoning.[citation needed] Current estimates suggest it may affect about 5% of the population. Although some researchers believe that dyscalculia necessarily implies mathematical reasoning difficulties as well as difficulties with arithmetic operations, there is evidence (especially from brain damaged patients) that arithmetic (e.g. calculation and number fact memory) and mathematical (abstract reasoning with numbers) abilities can be dissociated. That is (some researchers argue), an individual might suffer arithmetic difficulties (or dyscalculia), with no impairment of, or even giftedness in, abstract mathematical reasoning abilities.

The word dyscalculia comes from Greek and Latin which means: “counting badly”. The prefix “dys” comes from Greek and means “badly”. “Calculia” comes from the Latin “calculare”. which means “to count”. That word “calculare” again comes from “calculus“, which means “pebble” or one of the counters on an abacus.

Dyscalculia can be detected at a young age and measures can be taken to ease the problems faced by younger students. The main problem is understanding the way mathematics is taught to children. In the way that dyslexia can be dealt with by using a slightly different approach to teaching, so can dyscalculia. However, dyscalculia is the lesser known of these learning disorders and so is often not recognized.

[edit] Potential symptoms

  • Frequent difficulties with arithmetic, confusing the signs: +, , ÷ and ×.
  • Difficulty with everyday tasks like checking change and reading analog clocks.
  • Inability to comprehend financial planning or budgeting, sometimes even at a basic level; for example, estimating the cost of the items in a shopping basket or balancing a checkbook.
  • Difficulty with multiplication-tables, and subtraction-tables, addition tables, division tables, mental arithmetic, etc.
  • May do fairly well in subjects such as science and geometry, which require logic rather than formulae, until a higher level requiring calculations is obtained.
  • Difficulty with conceptualizing time and judging the passing of time. May be chronically late.
  • Particularly problems with differentiating between left and right.
  • Difficulty navigating or mentally “turning” the map to face the current direction rather than the common North=Top usage.
  • Having particular difficulty mentally estimating the measurement of an object or distance (e.g., whether something is 10 or 20 feet (3 or 6 metres) away).
  • Often unable to grasp and remember mathematical concepts, rules, formulae, and sequences.
  • An inability to read a sequence of numbers, or transposing them when repeated, such as turning 56 into 65.
  • Difficulty keeping score during games.
  • Difficulty with games such as poker with more flexible rules for scoring.
  • Difficulty in activities requiring sequential processing, from the physical (such as dance steps) to the abstract (reading, writing and signaling things in the right order). May have trouble even with a calculator due to difficulties in the process of feeding in variables.
  • The condition may lead in extreme cases to a phobia or durable anxiety of mathematics and mathematic-numeric devices/coherences.
  • Low latent inhibition, i.e., over-sensitivity to noise, smell, light and the inability to tune out, filtering unwanted information or impressions. Might have a well-developed sense of imagination due to this (possibly as cognitive compensation to mathematical-numeric deficits).

[edit] Potential causes

Scientists have yet to understand the causes of dyscalculia. They have been investigating in several domains.

  • Neurological: Dyscalculia has been associated with lesions to the supramarginal and angular gyri at the junction between the temporal and parietal lobes of the cerebral cortex.[2][3]
  • Deficits in working memory: Adams and Hitch[4] argue that working memory is a major factor in mental addition. From this base, Geary[5] conducted a study that suggested there was a working memory deficit for those who suffered from dyscalculia. However, working memory problems are confounded with general learning difficulties, thus Geary’s findings may not be specific to dyscalculia but rather may reflect a greater learning deficit.

Other causes may be:

Some may think that because of my learning disability my Nonna pushed me to much, reading at three may seem ridicolous, but that is not the case at all,. learning has always been a part of my life, and though I still struggle with math, and sometimes transpire words I would not be the author of four published books, including a novel if it were not for Nonna.

As you can imagine rewrites are difficult for me, so I have two friends who help me a great deal when it comes to the process of editing, as a writer that is my least favorite part of the job, my friend Sarah has been helping me with this for years, and more recently my friend Janet, who does not let her blindness slow her down, she helped a great deal in the edits of A Sisters Justice.

I long ago was drawn to the conclusion that despite limitations, whether they be the physical ones i.e my Muscle disorder or learning disabilities such as Dyslexia and Dyscalula which despite what same may believe are not tied with the Muscle disorders I have learned to embrace life, to cherish each moment and thank God for each breath.

Copyright Michelle R Kidwell


When A Sparrow Falls


In this time of economic down turn, of recession and depression, we tend to forget that the Lord has not let us down, we tend to think that our troubles mean he has abandoned us, but he is not the one that abandons, it is we who abandon our faith, and loose sight of what really matters.

At Christmas time we tend to really focus on the finances, wondering how we are going to make it through the Holidays without ending up in a worse finacial situation, or ending up to our necks in credit card debt, but this year has reminded me of God’s Grace, and how so often it is the simplest of gifts that mean the most, a little project created by a childs hand, a card with a few extra dollars in it from your ninety one year old Great Aunt and Uncle, (My Nonna’s only living sister) a hug from a child, that is what the season is truly about.

When I hold my friends baby Autumeve, I am reminded of the promises we are given, and of the true meaning of the season. When I sit down and help the children with their homemade arts and crafts, and ornaments, I am reminded of what Christmas is truly about, the wonderful gifts of Christmas, and these gifts are the gifts that can not be bought with any amount of money.

Just like the Lord knows when a sparrow falls, the Lord knows when his Children are struggling, but even in the midst of the struggle we can find the joy in serving the Lord who loves us.

God Bless