She Dreams of Walking

Let’s pause and remember the true heros not only today, but everyday…

She dreams of walking

On feet that are her own.

Dreams of the days

When she ran free

Before war

Had changed

So much.

She dreams

Of days

Before bombs

Guns

And enemies

With strange

Sounding names

Played through her mind.

Copyright Michelle R Kidwell

Nov.11.08

11:05 A.M PST

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Letting Go And Letting God Steps Towards Emotional Healing

In her book Lord, I Want to Be Whole, Stormie Omartian says this about Forgiveness:

“Forgiveness leads to life, unforgiveness leads to death.” Omartian 19

There are things I do not like to talk about, not because I am in some sort of deaial, but because I have forgiven, and I have moved on, but I do need to take a moment to bring these issues to heart.  I am a Christian, and part of that process, part of coming to serve the Lord involved letting go of the past, and forgiving things that happened.  When I was a teen my relationship with my Father was well for lack of a better word awkward, I had issues with him, that to this day he really does not like to admit, and I do not like to talk about, but I do forgive him, and I love him, letting go and letting God, became part of that healing process.

Compared to some stories of abuse, mine is minor, but abuse is abuse, and physical, verbal and sexual abuse all hurt in very real ways, often times I find myself reflecting on what I went through as a teen, and yes I realize I was not the perfect child, but neither was I a heilon, what I was, was a teenage girl with a changing body, and changing hormones, trying to figure out who I was, where my place was in this world, and thankfully when I was seventeen I found the friends, who a few months later would help me to find the importance of living a life for the Lord.

I do not remember the exact moment I realized I had to take that step and forgive my Father, but I remember emailing my Dad, a couple of years after I graduated, around the time he and my Mom got divorced, but I do know that fairly early on I knew I had to do something that was going to be hard, I had to forgive.

In her book Lord, I Want to Be Whole, Stormie Omartian says this about Forgiveness:

“Forgiveness leads to life, unforgiveness leads to death.” Omartian 19

In those early days of learning to forgive, of letting go and letting God, to borrow a cliche, I did not always understand the concept of forgiving and forgetting, but now I understand that when the Bible speaks of forgetting, they are not talking about putting yourself in a situation that is going to hurt you again, but making that conscious choice, by allowing yourself to forget the person who sinned against you, and moving on despite it, by being able to tell them I forgive you, without denying what happened.

There are times when I feel as if I am letting myself slip back into a mindset I do not like, Satan plants a seed in and I will think or do something that nourishes that seed that is out to destroy me.  That is why I am dilligent for the most part about reading the word, I admit I have missed a devotion or two, but I find that the word always gives me the strength I need and it reinforces in me the power of forgiveness.

Luke 11:28 (New International Version)

28He replied, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.”

Perhaps it is the coming of Fathers Day, that brings these things to mind once again, but most likely it is the Lord wanting me to get a message out, so that is what I try to do.  I am just a vessel in this jourbey and am thankful whenever the Lord see’s fit to use me.

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New International Version (NIV)Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society

Romans 8:6 (New International Version)

6The mind of sinful man[a] is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace

Copyright Michelle R Kidwell

June.12.09

Bible Quotes http://www.bibelgateway.com

Stormie Omartian Lord, I Want to Be Whole